Love of a Legacy 2: POW
by cat-gibbylover
Summary: The sequel to Love of a Legacy. After Juniper escapes she vows revenge on those who killed the man she loves, but when she finds herself being constantly pursued by Capitol cronies she wonders if she will ever be able to feel safe and if you ever really leave the Hunger Games.
1. The Great Escape

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games no matter how much I would like to. It's back, I hope you guys like the sequel as much as the original.**

Love of a Legacy: POW

I sat panting at the base of a large tree in the forests outside 6 or was it 7. I had lost track of how far I'd walked and how many districts I passed, my whole body ached from tiredness. I'd been walking for 2 weeks now; I'd taken a train to 3 and got off there, I knew they'd expect me to go home to 4 so I stayed as far away as possible.

I knew I needed to keep moving, they were still looking for me. I knew all the guys that were following me, there were 6 big, butch and brainless. Only a few people had been trusted with knowing I was alive, the Capitol was scared of inciting a rebellion, and I'd overheard a few things when I was on the train, it's funny how much people say when they think no one's listening. Since Katniss and Peeta ate those berries people have been rising up in an act of defiance all over the Capitol, people seemed to think that they did it purposely to show them up. And add on top of that my escaping they thought if everyone knew I was alive I'd become a hero and team up with Katniss to destroy the world. Which is totally what I'm going to do.

They currently see me as more of a threat than them because they have eyes on those two yet no one has any idea what happened to them. Plus all they did was eat some berries whilst I killed 12 people, hijacked a hovercraft, robbed them of all their medical supplies, convinced the whole world I'm dead and I did all that without sounding a single alarm. Yeah I'm that good.

* * *

_I lay across Thresh's body as the claws surrounded us. They'd tried everything to get me to let him go, they couldn't do anything without damaging Thresh's body and anything that wouldn't couldn't pierce my body armour. So eventually they just decided to pick us up as the claw surrounded us I heard a cannon in the distance and I knew it was warning me of my impending death._

_We were pulled into a hovercraft and laid on an examination table, out of the corner of my eye I saw a man in a lab coat with a large hypodermic needle heading towards me. When he was inches away from my face I lashed out and kicked him in the balls, he fell backwards and the needle went flying. I caught it in my hand as I kicked him again in the face, another man ran towards me and grabbed my arm I thrust my arm out and jabbed the needle into his neck, his eyes went huge before rolling back inside his head. They were going to do that to me, now I was pissed I was so going to get them. I leapt forward and pulled out my knife and plunged it in the stomach of the woman trying to stop the blood flow from her colleague. She fell over and I grabbed Thresh's axe from my pack and spun it round spending blood squirting from her neck causing her to collapse on the floor. I ripped my knife from her stomach and shoved it under the bleeding nose of the remaining scientist.__  
__'Take this fucking thing out of my arm now or you'll end up like you're friend over there. Got it?'__  
__His eyes flick to the blood-soaked blade in my hands before reaching for a small device on the desk behind him, I felt a sharp pain in my arm as the microchip was plucked from it.__  
__'Bye bye' I grabbed his head and shoved it against the desk, the corner smashed against his temple leaving a huge dent and his body going limp._

_I opened the door to the cock pit,__  
__'Three people on this plane are dead, it's about to be four if you don't do exactly as I say.'_

* * *

_After an hour we arrived in the Capitol, the ride was bumpy because the pilot was so nervous with me holding a knife to his throat for the entire time. We landed in the hanger and the pilot wheeled Thresh out first whilst I followed, there was one guard outside a huge metal door. Before he could blink I'd slit his throat and stolen his gun, I held it up to the pilot.__  
__'Get moving. NOW!' Behind the door were two more guards and 5 more scientists. I shot the guards in the face and watched them crumble to the floor. I turned to the pilot and smiled,__  
__'Thanks for the help, you were great.' One shot and he was gone. 'You, you look about my size. Strip, I need your clothes.' Her eyes bug up wide and she backs into the corner whilst the others huddled behind a desk. 'Strip or I'll put a hole in that big ass brain of yours got it.' I pressed the gun against her forehead and she went cross-eyed trying to see it. Tears streamed down her face as she took off her pink blouse and black work pants. I grabbed the clothes from her and shot down the rest of the scientists._

_I rifled through the cabinets and found a store of medicine, I emptied my pack and shoved it full of everything that I could get my hands on, I hit the jackpot when I found a large supply of my medicine, enough to last for a long time seeing as I had just gotten some from the arena. When my pack was full, I found a cupboard full of cleaning supplies and began to scrub; if I was going to blend I couldn't look like a wild thing. The supplies were mainly for cleaning lab equipment but I couldn't complain, when I looked half decent I pulled off my own clothes and changed into the scientists. I kept on the body armour thankful it blended with my skin so it was easy to hide._

_I walked over to where Thresh lay in the middle of the room, still caked in dirt and his own blood.  
'I'm so sorry I can't take you with me, but I'm going to get the people who did this to you. Who did this to us and I won't stop until I've killed every last one of them in the most painful way that is humanly possible.'  
I planted a kiss on his forehead and blinked back the tears before running from the room into a large, empty hallway._

_'Where the hell do I go now?' I crept along the hall and found my way to an exit that came out just outside the centre square of the Capitol, very wary that at any moment someone would discover the carnage I'd left inside I knew I needed to find a place to get cleaned up properly and change my hair seeing as not many people's hair was whit blonde and streaked with pink and blue. I shoved against the front door of the closest house and was surprised to find it open.  
'Idiots think they're safe.' I rolled my eyes and shut the door behind me locking it so no one would be able to interrupt. It was empty and everything was covered in frills and was a sickly shade of pink, I knew no one would be home as a death in the games is a massive social event and everyone gets together to gossip. The bathroom was easy to find as it took up most of the house. It was tiled in pink; I rifled through the medicine cabinet and found hundreds of bottles of hair dye and even more makeup products. I passed over the atrocious greens and yellows, who would ever want their head to look like that. I found a bottle of black in the very back and decided that since it was the most normal colour it was the one I was going to use._

_It felt so good to use a shower again but I didn't have time to enjoy it, I skipped all the fancy features and soaps and just stuck with regular soap and water, it took an hour but I was finally clean from head to toe. My hair tumbled around my shoulders now as dark as Thresh's once was and it made me tear up to think about him. I wrapped myself in a towel and raided the closet, the scientist's wardrobe wasn't the best for what I had in mind and I had to find something different. I pushed aside all the giant, colourful statement pieces and managed to find simple black pants and a black t-shirt that most capitol people wear under their clothes to stop them from itching. I kept my arena boots on because they were better than any shoes I would find in here, I found a large, green cloak in the back with a hood that covered me from head to toe and hid my pack easily and would help me to blend into the forest._

_It took me a while to find the train station, even less time to discover that it was crawling with peacekeepers trying to keep me from escaping. There was a small stock train that was heading to be refilled and to send supplies to the lower districts. All products were processed in the Capitol before being sent on as they feared someone would send something illegal in the supplies. I shoved open the top of the closest crate and slipped inside, luckily it was full of grain making it easier to hide in but it reminded me of Thresh and the tears began to form in my eyes again. I pulled the lid over my head and waited until I felt the crate begin to move, I was lifted onto the train. I spent days in that crate, it took 2 days to get to District 2 than another 4 to get to 3, when the train pulled into the second station I slipped out of the crate and hit the ground running. There was a barbed wire fence around the perimeter, the part around the train station wasn't electrified I guess they didn't expect anyone to get out that way. I cut a hole in the bottom with my knife and ran into the forest hiding amongst the trees._

* * *

I curled up in a ball amongst the leaves and thought of home and of Finnick and how he was and what he was doing. He was the only person I knew could never figure out I was alive; with what I had planned I didn't think I would ever come back from it. He shouldn't get his hopes up just to see me die days later in an attempt to overthrow the Capitol. I just wish I could spare him his pain, him, Mags, Annie and Tony all of them; I just want them to forget about me and move on with their lives and be able to live in a world without this oppression. I was going to save my family or I was going to die trying.


	2. District 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games no matter how much I would like to. **

_I stood in a meadow covered in yellow flowers my hair blowing in the breeze my dirt covered outfit looked so out of place here in this perfection. He stood there in front of me dressed in white from head to toe his dark eyes boring into mine. I walked forward slowly in a daze as he reached his out towards mine, my fingers brushed against his but I was pulled backwards by a gust of wind flying across the meadow._

'THRESH!' I sat bolt upright in my cave as the rain poured down on the roof, I was covered in sweat and my heart was pounding. I leaned against the cool wall and tried to stay calm, Thresh haunted my dreams almost every night and I truly missed him. I knew the only way we would ever be together was if I died and doing what I was about to do would make that happen.

The rain stopped around midday and I trudged through the mud as the trees sprinkled me with water, I was almost to District 11 now after travelling for 3 months. By now the Victor's tour would be starting and security would be amped up everywhere making it harder for me to find a way in. I knew from Thresh that 11 was a high security district so I decided that to get there I would have to take a train from 10 to 11 as there was no chance of me breaking in. I had to keep my promise to Thresh to take care of his family.

I crawled slowly to the fence surrounding the outskirts of 10 and knew the fence wouldn't be electrified due to endangerment of the livestock. I found a spot covered by trees and used my knife to cut a small hole in the base of the fence and wriggled under. It was from there I knew I had a major problem, there was nothing but field stretching for kilometres with a town far in the distance, there was no way that I could make it over there without being spotted.

I waited in the brush until the sun began setting, a truck carrying 14 workers pulled up and they started feeding the animals. I waited until they were far enough away from the truck before I bolted forward and jumped in the back hiding under some empty feed sacks. I lay completely still until the truck began moving and we drove into town. I waited for 10 minutes before I peeked over the side; I was in an empty storage room with 20 other trucks. I could hear the train was close so I swung my legs over the side and jumped to the floor. I crouched down and slid the door open slowly, there was no one in sight so I bolted to the trains and jumped in the closest box to me on its way to 11 and 12. It was filled with cheap cloth which was lucky since it could've been filled with raw meat considering where I was.

* * *

The journey was short and the train arrived in 11 early in the afternoon, I could hear cheers coming from outside and the footsteps of Peacekeepers as they unloaded the trains.  
'Guys they need more men in the square, they're worried about things getting out of hand.' A voice rose from outside my crate and the footsteps echoed into the distance as they all followed him away. I cracked the lid to check if the coast was clear before bolting out of the station and down a deserted road. I followed the noise to the main square which was filled with people; I pulled my hood up covering my face and plunged into the sea of people.

A large stage was placed outside the Justice building in the centre of the square and Peacekeepers were scattered through the crowd, I inched towards the centre of the crowd where less of them stood hiding behind the broad shoulders of the men of 11. Music filled the air as Katniss and Peeta stepped onto the stage sending the crowd screaming, I tried to look like I was enjoy myself as an attempt to fit in, the families of the dead sit on the sides of the stage Thresh's grandmother and sister sit there and my heart nearly breaks. The mayor begins to speak but I ignore him focusing only n the family of the man I loved. Peeta steps forward and speaks first talking about how Thresh and Rue were great and yada yada yada, he didn't know them like I did and he had no right to talk about them like he did.  
'It can in no way replace your losses, but as a token of our thanks we'd like for each of the tributes' families from District Eleven to receive one month of our winnings every year for the duration of our lives. Juniper Odair made that promise to Thresh and now I intend to keep it.' My eyes grew wide as he said this; he did what I had promised Thresh to do all along, to give all my winnings to him to make sure that his family was okay. The crowd around me screamed at the top of their lungs and tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought of my broken promise and how someone I barely knew would keep it for me.

They kiss and are presented with a plaque and I stand there waiting for her to say something, anything but she remains silent. She knew Rue and Thresh spared her life yet she couldn't muster up one thing to say about them. I rolled my eyes and started to move away from the stage. 'Wait!' I spin round as she stumbles forwards, the plaque pressed to her chest. 'Wait, please. I want to give my thanks to the tributes of District 11; I only ever spoke to Thresh one time. Just long enough for him to spare my life. I didn't know him, but I always respected him. For his power. For his refusal to play the Games on anyone's terms but his own. The Careers wanted him to team up with them from the beginning, but he wouldn't do it. I respected him for that. But I feel as if I did know Rue, and she'll always be with me. Everything beautiful brings her to mind. I see her in the yellow flowers that grow in the Meadow by my house. I see her in the mocking jays that sing in the trees. But most of all, I see her in my sister, Prim. Thank you for your children. And thank you all for the bread.'

For the first time in months I felt that someone was actually being real, I hear someone whistle from behind me the same song Rue sang as she sat in the tree surrounded by mocking jays when we found her. Again I fought back the tears, all around me in complete unison everyone pressed their three middle fingers and held them up to her. As Peeta and Katniss are pulled off the stage Peacekeepers storm the crowd and I'm filled with dread I'm out in the open and anything could happen to me. Bu they charge right past me and grab the man behind me who whistled, the crowd goes into an uproar as the old man is dragged onto the stage. People everywhere are being held back by Peacekeepers, they force the man to his knees and put a bullet through his brain and I can't help but fell somewhat responsible. The crowd is shoved towards the houses and out of the square; I try to get back to the trains but am pushed backwards by a sea of people. Out of nowhere a hand covers my mouth and I feel a knife at my back as I am pulled backwards into darkness.

**Thanks for the great response for the last chapter, I really appreciate it. Please Review, Rate, Subscribe and Favourite. I have a question for you all, would you kill me if I gave Jay another love intrest because I was thinking about it but I'm not entirely sure. If I did included it, it wouldn't be for a while but I just wanted to see what you guys think first.**


	3. Thief or a Runaway

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games no matter how much I would like to. My friend made this cool tribute video tot his story, here's the link so go check it out on youtube; /watch?v=q7WDzvecB04&feature=**

I shoved my elbow into my assailant's stomach and they fell backwards, I grabbed their arm with the knife and twisted it behind their back and shoved them against the wall forcing the blade into their back.  
'Calm down, we don't want to hurt you.' Behind me I light flashed on and I got a closer look at my attacker he was tall and thin with skin as dark as night and brown piercing eyes so similar to those of Thresh and Rue. Beside me were two women with the same features. I released the man knowing he wasn't a Peacekeeper and trusted that he didn't want to hurt me.  
'What do you want?'  
'We saw your necklace. Now either you stole it from the Capitol or you're not really dead and somehow managed to escape. Now which one is it are you a thief or a runaway?'  
'I'm no thief.'

* * *

The people of 11 gathered in an old abandoned barn after nightfall, there were hundreds of them but Dominic, the man who grabbed me earlier, informed me that not everyone was here; only the most important people were allowed to come. I kept my hood up just in case and shrunk back into the shadows not wanting to draw attention to myself. Dominic was apparently the leader, he stood directing the crowd and assigning lookout positions, everyone listened to him and no one spoke out against him. They were preparing for war.  
'Everyone, can I have your attention please.' The barn went silent and everyone turned to face him as he stood onto of a hayloft towering over everyone. 'We have a new reason to fight, a new icon of defiance of the Capitol. She arrived this morning a sign of strength and a beacon of hope.' He looked at me and motioned to the spot next to him wanting me to join him on stage. I backed up further not wanting to be onstage again the last time I was I barfed in Thresh's hat. The crowd began to murmur looking around for their "beacon" and I sucked up all the courage I had in me and walked slowly up the steps to join him.

The crowd went silent again and just stared at me as I stood there, they had no idea who I was due to my makeover and a look of confusion washed over their faces.  
'People of District 11, I give you Juniper Odair!' He grabbed the hood of my cloak and pulled it off of my face as the crowd gasped finally registering how amazing it was me being there as no one had ever escaped the games before. And then out of nowhere they just started clapping and cheering as loudly as they had for Katniss and Peeta.  
'Everyone be quiet or they'll hear us.' Dominic got them to settle down,  
'She won't be staying very long, she came to show us that she's out there and that we need to keep fighting. Rue and Thresh will have not died in vain and we will make sure of that!'

* * *

I paced the floor of the small bedroom, the meeting had ended when Peacekeepers were spotted combing the area and now I was waiting to talk to Thresh's family, I wondered what they would say, and if they would be mad that I survived and Thresh didn't. I know I would be if it was Finnick.

His sister walked into the room and I just stood staring at her not knowing what to say. She pulled me into her arms and gave me a bone crushing hug tears staining her cheeks.  
'I'm so sorry, I couldn't save him...'  
'Why are you sorry, the way I see it you did save him. He never smiled until the day he met you. You made him a better person, he was a broken shell but you managed to put the pieces back together. Thank you for everything.'  
'Jay it's time to go.' Dominic came into the room and interrupted us, 'The Peacekeepers are distracted and we have to get you out of here before they find you.' I give her one last hug and am halfway out the door before I run back to her.  
'Here,' I slip the necklace from around my throat and place it in her hands. She shakes her head and tries to give it back to me.  
'No you keep it, it's to recognisable to the Peacekeepers besides it belongs to your family not mine.'  
'You are part of our family.' She pulls me in for one last hug before me and Dominic disappear into the night.

**Okay this chapter's kinda short but the next one is going to be really long so it evens it out, Rate, Review, Follow and Favourite.**


	4. Eyes Full Of Sadness

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games not matter how much I would like to.**

The people of 11 had distracted the Peacekeepers whilst I managed to slip through a secret hole in the fence, I had made them all promise not to tell a soul that they had seen me and now here I was again all alone in the forest with nothing but a suicide mission.

* * *

I walked through the trees my body aching from exhaustion; I got little sleep without seeing Thresh's face in my nightmares. I leant against a tree and scrunched my eyes shut trying to find the strength to go on when I heard it, a voice speaking though the trees. My eyes snapped open and I drew my knife, I spun around and scrambled up into the branches above me and crouched waiting.

Two Peacekeepers walked past, I got ready to strike but then I noticed something odd about them. One of them was younger than I was, she was dragging one of her legs behind her as if it was broken whilst the older one tried to support her and carry her through the woods. They didn't have the refined features of District 1 but the worn-down faces of those who have had to work all their lives.  
'Come on just a little further and then we can rest. We're almost there I promise.'  
I leapt from the tree and landed in front of their faces my knife still drawn, they screamed and the younger one fell over and began crawling backwards in an attempt to get away.  
'You don't look like Peacekeepers, now give me one good reason why I shouldn't chop you into ribbons.'  
'P...P...Please, we aren't Peacekeepers we're from District 3. We escaped and are heading to District 13 to start a better life.'  
'And why should I believe you?' I circled her my knife held out in front of me, 'You're armed and you just happen to come across me in the forest. I've been hunted from months and I'm supposed to believe that you just ran away from District 3. No one escapes from anywhere.'  
'You did.' Her voice was weak and she caught me completely off guard as the little girl struggled to her feet staring right at me. 'I know you, you were on the TV, and you were in the Hunger Games last year. We wanted you to win.'  
'How do you know that?' I backed away from her my weapon still pointed at her face.  
'Your eyes, I remember your eyes. You were always so confident and scary but then I would look into your eyes and I could see how scared you were and how alone you felt. I've never seen eyes so sad on someone so strong, and now they're even sadder because you lost the man you loved.'  
'Where did you learn to be so smart?'

* * *

The women told me that their names were Twill and Bonnie and that a video of a mocking jay had lead them to believe that District 13 still existed, that they were fighting back and were going to save all of the Districts. I shared with them the food the people of 11 had given me and told them the story of my escape and how I was going to destroy the Capitol and how I didn't have time to wait for some lost army to do it for me.  
'Come with us, you could tell them all you've done and they can help you. You can't do it by yourself, you'll get yourself killed!'  
'Well maybe that isn't such a bad thing.'  
'You can't just die, you're a symbol of hope. Like Katniss the mocking jay.' Twill reaches into her bag and pulls out a cracker with a mocking jay symbol etched in the bread.  
'I don't want to be a symbol, I don't want to be a beacon, I just want them all dead. And if I die in the process then fine so be it as long as they come down with me.'

* * *

I left early in the morning before Twill and Bonnie woke up, I hoped they found what they were looking for and that District 13 was real and that they would have a better life there.

I was headed back to the Capitol and figured the easiest way to get there would again be by train but I had no chance of returning to 11 and it would take too long to walk all that way, it had taken me months just to get all the way out here. There was another way, I could go by hovercraft if I could get one to pick me up, it would be hard but it was doable, I had done it once before.

I started a fire with green leaves so it would burn higher and brighter allowing them to know where I was, when it was almost burning to the sky I ducked behind some bushes and waited. If they saw this they'd know that someone was hiding out here and come and get them. I sat for almost an hour before I heard the whirr of a hovercraft, I got myself ready and watched as three peacekeepers descended and walked out guns drawn looking for who started the fire. As soon as one came close to where I was crouched I lashed out and chopped off his foot at the ankle sending him falling to the ground screaming. I jumped up and stabbed the next one who had turned around to see what had happened, I caught him in the stomach and sliced it open letting his guts spill to the floor. I kicked in the skull of the footless man and took his gun and aimed it at the final Peacekeeper.  
'Move and you die, now we're are going to board that hover craft like everything is okay, you're not going to raise any alarms or you'll end up like your friends. Now hand over the gun or this bullet goes straight through your skull.' He placed the gun on the floor and kicked it to me. We grabbed a hold of the ladder and he called up to the pilot all the while my gun was pointed at his face.I walked through to the  
pilot's cabin dragging the Peacekeeper with me,  
'Take me where I want to go or you'll end up like this man.' I shot the Peacekeeper through the head and he crumpled on the floor blood gushing from his face. The pilot just stared so I cocked my head to the side and brought up the gun, he spun around quickly and the hovercraft zoomed through the air. It took us 2 hours to get to the Capitol; I spent the whole time pacing the cabin back and forth with my gun pointed at the pilot so he didn't try to call the Capitol.

We pulled into the hanger and I made the pilot strip so I could take his clothes. I slipped into the baggy, navy jumpsuit and pulled my hair up hiding it under his cap. I shot him through the heart and walked outside. I slipped through an open door in the back and walked out into a long passageway, I followed it down and after a while I found what I was looking for, a room full of weapons. I skipped over the guns as I could do more damage with my hands and a knife than any of those metal contraptions. I walked to the explosives section and studied the machines that lined the wall. I grabbed the most lethal ones, Mags taught me about explosives she had used them to kill most of her opponents in the games after she had aligned with the girl from District 3. The worst ones for injury were lined with nails to rip through flesh after they exploded, they were also the best for ripping through any form of metal if the right amount of gun powder was used. I took as many as I could get my hands on and walked back to where the hovercraft had landed, I placed them along the wall of the hangar, it was bigger than the one I had been in when I first arrived so I came to the conclusion that it was the main one. Taking out their form of transportation would make it harder for them to fight back against any oncoming attacks.

I walked down the hallway and lined the walls with explosives stopping at the end of the hall, turning each one on as I went along. I snuck out the back holding the remote in my hands. I walked out into the night and hid behind the Capitol's justice building that wasn't that far away from the hangar, there would be time to take it out later now was the time to make sure when I did they wouldn't be able to fight back. I braced myself as I pushed the button and nothing happened, I stared at the device and took a step forward when the grouns shook beneath my feet and I flew backwards smashing against the wall as I pillar of flames descended upon me.

* * *

The ground spun beneath my feet and my head ached. I stood slowly, swaying dangerously, my ears were ringing and everything seemed red, people were running past me and I could tell from their faces that they were screaming as the black sky burned with flames. I stumble forwards as Peacekeepers swarm the area mixing within the frenzied crowd. I pick up the activator and toss it under people's feet watching it smash to pieces as it's trampled. I slip in amongst the people holding the back of my head as blood begins to pool inside of my cap. I see people abandoning their houses so I go against the flow and slip into a partially destroyed home. I stumble over to the medicine cabinet and pull out a roll of bandages and press them against my head to staunch the blood flow. I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror and do a double take, my face is covered in soot and grime and my hair is singed at the edges and sticks up at funny angles, matted and blood covered, my eyes are crazy and I look even worse than I did when I escaped the games. I look like a wild woman, crazy and shunned from society.  
I pull back the blinds and stare at the chaos outside, it doesn't look like it'll stop soon so I slip into the shower and scrub the grime furiously from my body. If I'm going to get out of here alive I need to blend in. I tug the tangles out of my hair and wrap myself in a towel. I shove my old clothes in my pack and grab a red kimono from the closet, I slip on some silver flats and wrap my hair in a braid around my head. I find a large white shawl that falls down past my hips completely covering my pack when it's on my back. I slip out of the door and walk down the street that's flooded with people, I finally get to see the extent of the damage, a huge crater has formed in the street and the building has been completely sucked in including a few nearby houses and most of the street. People are being herded into the Justice Building for sanctuary so I follow them inside in order to get close to the man I so want to destroy.

Servants have started handing out blankets and warm drinks to people, a waiter pops up in front of me and hands me a glass. I take a sip and immediately regret it, the world turns upside down, everything goes fuzzy and everything blurs together. I stumble and a pair of strong arms grab me. I hear a voice in my ear and even though the man is close it sounds distant,  
'Do you really think we'd fall for that disguise?'

* * *

I woke up in small white room with no doors or windows, my head is pounding and I feel as if I just ate a sock. I'm wearing a whit jumpsuit that I don't remember putting on. I walk slowly forwards and run my hands along the walls looking for some way out. I hear a creak behind me and the wall dissolves leaving a man standing there his eyes harsh. A smirk washes over his face,  
'Hello little girl. My name is Boreas. Welcome to hell.' He pulls back his hand and smashes me straight across the face.


	5. Biting Back the Screams

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games not matter how much I would like to.**

I lay on the cold, hard floor in a ball, my body screaming from pain. The explosion had taken a toll on me and my skin was red raw and my head still bled from the gash. Boreas the Peacekeeper's slap had left a deep cut across my face from where one of his many rings had tugged on the skin. I had been here a day and nothing had happened, food and water came in through a little slot in the wall that appeared as though by magic along with a pill version of my medicine, I don't think they trusted me with a syringe. Food was just a grey, soupy slush that tasted like cardboard and there was never enough to keep me full.

* * *

I had tried multiple to times to get the door to open, I had rammed my shoulder against the wall, scratched at the paint with my fingernails and even tried to stop the food slot from closing with my hand but nothing happened except me nearly dislocating my shoulder, breaking all my nails until the cracked stubs bled and nearly having my wrist snapped off by a metal flap which left a deep gauge in my hand. The room was so small and I was beginning to feel claustrophobic, the cave in the Hunger Games had been bigger. It was the size of either a really big closet or a tiny toilet room. Speaking of a toilet room, there wasn't one, there was a hole in the ground that appeared every two hours, it was really gross.

* * *

The wall swung open and a peacekeeper walked in the room, he had cuffs in his hands and a gun, as he came towards me I grabbed his wrist and flipped him into the back wall. He slumped over and I stole his gun running through the open entrance, I made it halfway down the empty hall before a shock wave pierced my body and I fell to the floor. Boreas stood above holding a taser, he grabbed my hair and dragged me back to my room throwing me down hard on the floor.  
'Don't try that again little girl.' He grabbed the gun and the peacekeeper by the collar and yanked his unconscious body out of the room.  
The next day the wall opened again and this time two peacekeepers stood waiting for me. The first walked in and grabbed my arms to hold me down as the other approached I kicked out and smashed him in the face, he went sprawling. I yanked my arms forward and ducked as the second went flying over my head and out of the room. The first started to get up but I roundhouse kicked him in the nose and he fell back to the floor. I jumped over the two bodies and ran down the hall again looking behind me every so often to make sure no one could hit me from behind. The door at the end of the hall slammed shut and gas started to pour from the ceiling filling the passage, I began to choke and sank to my knees as the world went fuzzy and I blacked out.

* * *

I awoke in the room again heavy chains binding my wrists and ankles to the floor, I sat up but that was as far as I could get, my head throbbed and I was still dizzy. I tugged against the chains but they cut into my wrists and began to draw blood so I decided to stop. The wall swung open a third time and four peacekeepers came in and fastened extra chains to my arms before releasing me from my current ones. They pulled me to my feet and dragged me along the corridor, I shoved against them and tried to fight back but my arms were bound and I was restricted. They all walked a safe distance from me with two in the front and two in the back, the ones in the front dragged long chains that were bound to the cuffs on my arms and every so often they would give them a harsh yank pulling me forward and nearly knocking me off my feet. They lead me into a small, white room that looked exactly like the one I had been in previously except for a large wooden chair that was bolted to the floor and was lined with metal rods and a metal box in the corner. They shoved me down in the chair and strapped my arms, legs and head to the wood. I pulled against the leather restraints but the closest peacekeeper just shoved me down and pulled them tighter so I could barely move. They left me alone and all I could do was sit and wait.

After a while Boreas came in accompanied by two scientists, he grabbed my feet and plunged them in a tub of freezing cold water that sent chills down my spine. The scientists opened the metal box exposing large wire which they clipped to the metal rods,  
'Now little girl, what do you know about the rebellion?' Boreas stared at me with his cold, green eyes and I felt like he was trying to burn a hole in my soul.  
'I don't know what you're talking about.'  
'Wrong answer.' He nodded to the scientists and they flicked a switch on the box, I saw a blue spark before my body exploded with pain. Electricity shot through my skin and my whole body shook, my flesh felt like it was on fire and my brain felt like it was turning to mush. I bit back the screams that were forming in my throat and my hands clenched into fists as I tried to fight against the pain. He nodded again and the pain stopped, black spots flashed in front of my eyes and a wave of nausea and dizziness shook through my body.  
'Now I'm going to ask you this again little girl, what do you know about the rebellion?'  
I spat straight in his face, 'Not a damn thing!' He nodded again to the scientists.

* * *

It went on and on and on. After a while my whole body went limp and I could no longer answer him, I just slumped in the chair and I would've fallen out if I hadn't have been so heavily chained. After what seemed like hours, he told them to stop,  
'I think she's had enough for one day, we'll see how she fairs tomorrow.' The peacekeepers came back in as the scientists packed away the machine and I was dragged back to my cell, I managed to get to my feet and walk to prove to them that they couldn't get to me. As the wall slammed shut behind me I heard him whisper.  
'See you tomorrow little girl. That's when the real fun begins.


	6. Broken

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games not matter how much I would like to. Warning: This chapter is kinda violent so if you don't like it then don't read it.**

They gave up on the shocking, I would just sit there and take it, so they tried other things. Next was whipping but I just bit my lip and worked through the pain, I was used to it after all. When you in the games your body learns to handle things like that after you get stabbed nearly everyday. Then it was water torture but I'm from 4, I can breathe under water longer than the average person. They tried and failed to get anything for me but it was most likely because I knew pretty much nothing so I had practically nothing to give them. But I kept my mouth shut about Twill and Bonnie and 13.

* * *

The door swung open and two peacekeepers walked in, as they leaned in to put the second set of restraints on one of them made the mistake of getting to close. I bit down hard on their flesh, encasing their nose in my mouth. I tugged at it hard with my teeth, I could hear the man screaming, his partner grabbed me by the shoulders and was trying to pull me off of his friend. I could taste his blood pooling in the back of my throat, I yanked backwards hard and fell back my head hitting the floor. I spit the man's nose on the floor as he clutched at his empty face, blood gushing from the large, dark hole that I created. Blood trickled down the side of my face and the white floor was stained red. A swarm of peacekeepers ran in, a needle was plunged into my arm and everything went fuzzy before I blacked out.

* * *

I woke to footsteps outside my door, it swung open and four peacekeepers came in, they were learning any less than three and I would attack without a second thought. I realised I had even more chains pinning me to the floor.

'We're going for a walk. Chain her.' Boreas motioned to the peacekeepers behind him and they stepped forward hesitantly, I snarled and attempted to bite them, they fell backwards in fear their eyes wide and scared.  
'She's just a little girl honestly; she can't hurt you she's heavily chained.' He grabbed the restraints from the others and fastened them on before releasing me from the ones biding me to the floor. He grabbed me by the hair and pulled me upwards.  
'We're trying something new today and trust me little girl, I'm going to enjoy this.'  
'And I'm going to enjoy killing you slowly Boreas.' He shoves me forwards laughing and I land on my hands pain shooting through my wrists.

We walked through corridors and hallways for around half an hour, Boreas was constantly tugging on my chains causing me to trip every few seconds whilst the others held their guns to my back prodding me forward.  
'We're here.' He opened the door to a small room that looked exactly like my cell except that it was a little bigger and one of the walls was made of glass and I could see across into an identical room which remained empty. He grabbed me by the arm and shoved me to the floor inside,  
'Have fun!' After they left me alone I rose slowly to my feet wondering what kind of torture they were going to provide me with today, whether it be whipping or shock therapy I was determine to stay strong.

* * *

I felt like I waited forever for something to happen but then a door opened in the other room and a peacekeeper dragged in a boy and dumped him on the floor. He wasn't moving and I couldn't see his face but he looked badly beaten, I walked over to the glass, sunk down to the floor and knocked. He moved slightly so I knocked again,  
'Hello... Are you okay in there? What happened to you? Hello?' I knocked louder and the boy stirred,  
'Who's there? Please don't hurt me.'  
'I won't hurt you, I'm a prisoner here too. My name is Juniper, but everyone calls me Jay.'  
He sat bolt upright and turned to face the glass. My jaw dropped and my eyes grew wide as did his, he began to shake his head from side to side quickly. He crawled slowly over to the glass and pressed his hand up against it, I met his with mine only a tiny sheet separating our fingers.  
'Jay... Is it... Is it really you?' His voice was weak and he looked tired but I had never felt as happy as I did in that moment.  
'Yes, Yes, It's me. Oh Toby what happened to you?' My childhood friend gave me a sad smile as he inched closer to the glass pressing it against his forehead.  
'I could ask you the same question; they came and took me two days ago when I was out fishing. They sunk the boat to make it look like I'd drowned but then they brought me here.'  
'This is all my fault, if I hadn't escaped you wouldn't even be here. I'm so sorry.'  
'It's okay, I can't believe it's you. I watched you die'  
'Well I guess now it's two of us who are supposed to be dead. God I missed you.'  
'Not as much as I missed you, Jay...'

His sentence was cut short when two peacekeepers barged in and grabbed him pulling Toby to his feet, Boreas walked in and came right up to the glass and looked me right in the eye,  
'I told you I was going to enjoy this.' He smirked and turned on his heel to face Toby. 'This is what happens when you try to defy the Capitol. If we can't get to you, we get to those you care about. Now tell us what you know about the rebellion'  
'NO, DON'T IT'S ME YOU WANT! I DID THIS! NOT HIM! HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! HE'S INNOCENT! PLEASE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! HE'S INNOCENT! PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T!' I hit the glass with my hands trying to make them listen but it didn't work. Boreas rammed his fist in to Toby's stomach and he crumpled forward, he took advantage of this and punched him across the face. He hit him repeatedly until he fell to the floor bleeding and bruised as I screamed for them to stop.  
'Ready to tell me now?'  
'PLEASE I DON'T KNOW! IF I DID I'D TELL YOU! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!'  
Boreas shook his head and and turned away from the glass. He began to kick him over and over again and I couldn't take it anymore, I ran forward at full speed and threw myself at the glass and falling backwards on my butt. I staggered to my feet and smashed my body against it. Over and over again I rammed myself at the wall but it wouldn't break, pain shot through my body but I kept going determined to save my friend. The world began to spin and my feet could no longer support me, I sank to my knees and crawled to the glass and hit my fists weakly against the glass.

Toby's body went limp and he no longer moved, Boreas looked at me and sneered.  
'Time to say goodbye little girl.' He lifted his foot and brought it down hard on Toby's temple leaving a huge dent in the side of his head, blood gushing from the wound. I shook my head crying and smashed my fists against the glass but it was no use he was gone and I was never going to get him back. I curled up into the foetal position and lay there sobbing, another peacekeeper came in and took me outside, I didn't put up a fight I just lay there limp forcing him to carry me. They finally broke me.


	7. The Quater Quell

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games not matter how much I would like to.**

'Morning little girl, and how are we feeling today?' Boreas stood over me smirking, I don't reply, my face is stained with tears and my body is too bruised and broken from ramming against the wall for me to move.  
'Don't worry little girl, this is only the beginning. There is much worse to come.' He moves to the side as the door swings open again. I gasp as in walks President Snow, his snake-like eyes boring into mine; he leans down and lifts my face in his hands. I gag on the smell of blood and roses remembering what my brother told me of him assassinating people with poison and then taking it himself to hide his crimes.  
'Boreas has been telling me all about you Miss. Odair and not all of it has been good. You have been causing the Capitol quite a fair bit of trouble young lady. Now all this pain you are feeling can stop if you just tell us what you know about the rebellion.' Seeing the face of the man who caused my brother and my family so much pain filled me with new strength. I wrenched my face from his grasp and stared him right in the eye.  
'What makes you think if I knew anything I would tell you?' I lunged forward and bared my teeth; Boreas grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him backwards slamming me across the face with his gun.  
'I told you not to get too close sir. She has a temper.'  
'Now Miss. Odair, I've tried being fair but now I'm going to have to do something I didn't want to do.' He turns on his heels and leaves; Boreas kicks me in the stomach before following.

* * *

Boreas comes back a few hours later, he pushes a television into my cell; he pushes a few buttons before leaving me alone. I stare at the screen as an image flickers into view, the Capitol seal flashes onto the screen as the anthem begins to play; as it fades the image of President Snow appears as he strides onto a stage. He's followed by a young boy dressed in a white suit, holding a simple wooden box. President Snow begins to speak, to remind us all of the Dark Days from which the Hunger Games were born. When the laws for the Games were laid out, they dictated that every twenty-five years the anniversary would be marked by a Quarter Quell. It would call for a glorified version of the Games to make fresh the memory of those killed by the districts' rebellion. He goes on to say what happened in the previous Quarter Quells. "On the twenty-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that their children were dying because of their choice to initiate violence, every district was made to hold an election and vote on the tributes who would represent it. On the fiftieth anniversary, as a reminder that two rebels died for each Capitol citizen, every district was required to send twice as many tributes. And now we honor our third Quarter Quell,' the little boy in white steps forward, holding out the box as President Snow opens the lid. I can see the tidy, upright rows of yellowed envelopes. Whoever devised the Quarter Quell system had prepared for centuries of Hunger Games. The president removes an envelope clearly marked with a 75. He runs his finger under the flap and pulls out a small square of paper. Without hesitation, he reads, 'On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors.'  
I stare at the screen confused before it dawns on me, he meant Finnick, and he meant Annie or Mags. He was punishing me by destroying the people I loved the most in front of the whole world without even having to reveal that I was alive. I shake my head tears spilling from my eyes,  
'no, no, No, No, NO!' I struggle against my chains and try to charge at the screen but I am pulled back and land hard on the floor. I start to scream at the top of my lungs and pull at my restraints until my flesh starts to give way and my blood starts to pool on the floor. After a while everything starts to go black.

* * *

I wake up in my cell; my arms are heavily bandaged and throbbing. The floor is till sticky with my blood and my white jumpsuit is now stained red on top of all the dirt. I curl up in a ball and cry.

* * *

_I stand next to Mags my fingers intertwined with hers as we watch Connie walk up onto the stage to start the reaping.  
'Now as usual we will pick the gentleman first.' Her fingers reach into the big ball pulling out a slip and reading the name off the piece of paper. 'Finnick Odair.' Mags squeezes my hand and her face goes pale as Finnick walks up slowly onto the stage. He promised me he wouldn't go, that he'd stay here to take care of me since our parents died.  
'Are there any volunteers?' Hands shot up everywhere and I knew there was a chance that my brother would be safe. I closed my eyes and crossed my fingers but even after the very complicated ritual, it was still him._

_Me and Mags walked into the Justice Building and were guided into a small room where Finnick was sitting by himself. When he saw us he ran towards me and picked me up into a bone-crushing hug.  
'I'm going to come home okay. I promise and then we'll have a big house and all the money in the world.'  
'But we already have all that stuff.' It was true; we'd been living with Mags for years in the Victor's Village.  
'But this will be ours, just me and you okay?' I nod and he wipes the tears from my cheeks. He gives me one last squeeze before hugging Mags. 'Are you coming with me?' She nods and pats his cheek pulling him in for one last hug._

* * *

_'Come on Mags hurry up! I wanna see Finnick!' I pulled her through the hotel to the roof where the hovercraft was waiting for us. It felt like forever and Mags kept trying to get me to calm down as I fidgeted in my seat. As it landed I saw him standing there smiling his arms outstretched.  
'FINNICK!' I flew into his arms and he spun me around squeezing the air out of my lungs.  
'God I missed you he whispered in my ear. 'I promise you I'll never leave again.'  
'You're okay right? It looked so scary.'  
'It was but I will always come back to take care of you. No matter what. You're the whole reason I'm alive, I won to save you.' He let go of me and ran to Mags grabbing her and wrapping her in his arms. He had to go and get ready for his interview and when the peacekeepers lead him away and he thought I couldn't see the sadness washed over his face and that's where it stayed._


	8. You will always hold strong

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games not matter how much I would like to.**

I lay on the floor as they wheeled the TV back into my room. Not much had happened since the Quarter Quell announcement because they knew they couldn't do anything worse to me. They did come in occasionally to beat me; Boreas said it was to remind me of all the bad things that they were going to put my brother through.

Finnick stood on the balcony with the other victors most of whom I was friends with, that came over to our house for parties, Annie stood with Mags on the other gripping her hand tightly. Annie had always hated heights and pretty much anything that wasn't me, Mags or Finnick. Connie strode onto the stage smiling wearing a poufy, yellow dress acting as if something horrible wasn't about to happen. They played that stupid video and the mayor made his speech but I didn't pay attention I was on edge knowing they would put in Finnick and either Annie or Mags.  
Connie stuck her manicured fingers in the bowl and made a big show of choosing the name but there was no point because I knew they all said Finnick Odair like how last year they probably all said my name.  
'Finnick Odair!' He flashed his winning smile that made all the Capitol women go crazy and walked down to the stage. He blew kisses to the camera but I could see the sadness in his eyes. He looked back at Annie and I saw him cross his fingers, I knew he couldn't take it if both of us died and I knew I couldn't take it if they did either.

'And now for the ladies,' She clawed around and drew out the tiny piece of paper. 'Annie Cresta.' Tears streamed down my face, Annie was so innocent she couldn't do this a second time the last time she went she went crazy. The tears fell faster as she began to scream at the top of her lungs, she put her hands over her ears and sunk to the ground screaming, Mags tried to calm her down but she hit and bit and refused to move. Mags let her go and began to walk towards the stage; she looked older than I remembered.  
'It looks like we have a volunteer,' She helped Mags up the steps and her and Finnick held hands facing the crowd, I could hear Annie screaming louder and I couldn't take it anymore, I shoved my fingers in my ears and curled up in a ball and the TV switched itself off.

* * *

I thought it was over until I saw a flicker on the screen, the picture came back on and I was looking at an image of District 7. The stage stood in the middle of an alcove surrounded by towering trees, everything was made from wood. A man stood on the stage his arm reaching for a piece of paper,  
'Johanna Mason!'  
'NO! Please stop this! This isn't fair! PLEASE!'

* * *

_I sat across from Finnick in a Capitol restaurant, the games had just ended and the boy from 4 had won. Finnick was happy that he was bringing home a winner and that he didn't have to go through the pain of losing another one.  
'Oh look, if it isn't Mr. Gorgeous.' She stood across from us dressed in a tight green dress, her short, black hair was slicked back and a smile played across her lips.  
'Hey Johanna, have you met my sister?'  
'The miny Finnick? No I have not.' She grabbed a chair and pulled up next to us. 'So tell me about yourself, you're not as annoying as your brother are you?' Finnick rolled his eyes and laughed and I just looked at my hands and mumbled avoiding looking in her eyes. 'Hey kiddo, there's no reason to be scared of me, we're in this together me and you're brother. We know what's its like and trust me between the two of us we're going to keep you safe.'  
I couldn't help but smile,  
'There we go; now we're getting somewhere. What's your name?'  
'J...J...Juniper.'  
'Nice, but it doesn't suit you. That's the name of a scared little girl but you you're a fighter so from now on I'm going to call you... Jay.' Finnick laughed and ruffled my hair,  
'I like it, Jay. It suits you.'  
'You think? Because I don't feel like a fighter.' Johanna rolled her eyes and took a hold of my hand,  
'Trust me, when it comes down to it you are going to blow them all away. You will always hold strong. No one will ever break you because you have spirit, if I can tell that from talking to you for two minutes it must be true.'_

_We were inseparable from that moment on, whenever we were both in the Capitol we would go shopping and out to dinner every night. It became the talk of the Capitol, wherever we shopped or ate became the next hotspot. Everyone wanted to be like us. We would talk on the phone almost every night but when I went in the games I was too busy to see her. I didn't want to, I didn't want her to see me weak and I felt like I would cry the second I saw her._

* * *

'YOU CAN'T HAVE ALL OF THEM! YOU CAN'T KILL MY BEST FRIEND THEN TRY TO GET RID OF MY BROTHER, OR THREATEN MY SISTER AND MY MOTHER! MY FAMILY IS MINE AND THEN YOU CAN'T JUST TRY TO TAKE AWAY THE REST OF MY FRIENDS! YOU CAN'T TAKE THEM ALL! NOT TOBY OR FINNICK OR ANNIE OR MAGS OR JOHANNA! THEY'RE MINE AND I WILL SAVE THEM!... I will save them.'  
'Really because the way I see it is, you're in here and they're all out there and soon they'll be in the games where you'll never get to them and you'll have a front row seat to their deaths.' Boreas leaned against the wall and smirked as I just lay there screaming. 'Maybe, just maybe, this all can stop. Snow can announce that he made a mistake and that the Quarter Quell is something different if you just tell us what you know.'  
'I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!'  
'No one escapes little girl, you must have had help. One little girl can't possibly cause so much carnage.'  
'You've seen me kill you men with your own eyes. Even when I bound like this I still manage to do it.'  
'Trust me little girl it doesn't matter what you do because President Snow is going to make sure your brother suffers the worst hells imaginable. So save your strength you're going to need it.'

**Yeah I know it's short but I was running low on inspiration, the next one will be longer because I'm planning to cover the entire time in the Hunger Games from Jay's POV. I got the Hunger Games on DVD the other day, it's so awesome I've watched it like a hundred times.**


	9. I Win

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

The next few days were torture, I had to sit there and watch Finnick strut across the stage as women threw themselves at him. When he recited his poem tears welled up in my eyes, everyone went crazy in the audience thinking it was about them but I knew what it was, his last goodbye to Annie. But of course just like in my year nothing anyone says matter because when Katniss and Peeta take that stage everyone is blown away, this year's surprise; she's pregnant.

* * *

They stand on their plates waiting to be unleashed into the arena, when I see their surroundings I actually manage to laugh. The plates are spread out between the spokes of a circular island completely surrounded by water, Finnick and Mags can swim better than anyone else in there, my only worry is for Johanna. I don't know if she can swim or not I just hope Finnick will at least try to help her. The gong sounds and Finnick flies into the water, Mags takes her time she's not as young as she used to be but she can stay afloat and she is still a strong swimmer. She's still in the water as Finnick reaches land, sprinting towards the Cornucopia he grabs his trident and net just as Katniss spins around pointing a bow straight at his chest.  
'Please don't kill him, please don't kill him.' I'm muttering under my breath and I squeeze my eyes shut not wanting to see what happens next.  
'You can swim, too,' he says. 'Where did you learn that in District Twelve?'  
'We have a big bathtub,' she answers.  
'You must,' he says. 'You like the arena?'  
'Not particularly. But you should. They must have built it especially for you,' she says it with her voice laced with bitterness. I open my eyes but cover them with my hands just in case, peering through the cracks in my fingers.  
For a moment they're frozen, sizing each other up, their weapons, their skill. Then out of nowhere Finnick grins. 'Lucky thing we're allies. Right?' He moves his hand ever so slightly letting a solid-gold bangle patterned with flames fall down his wrist catching the sunlight, Katniss' eyes grow wide and confused it obviously means something to her. A man from District 5 is charging straight at them, I cover my eyes again knowing that if she doesn't decide to trust him soon something bad will happen.  
'Right!' She snaps at him and points her weapon away from his chest.

'Duck!' Finnick commands in such a powerful voice, that she hits the deck almost instantly as his trident goes whizzing over her head and it goes flying into the man's chest, he sinks to his knees as Finnick frees the trident from his chest.  
'Don't trust One and Two,' Finnick says.  
'Each take one side?' He nods, she scans the pile and discovers that they were only supplied with weapons, they gather as much as they can and she shoots Gloss in the leg and Brutus' belt which explodes spewing liquid all over his face. Things are getting ugly and my heart pounds just hoping that they'll make it out of there alive, I don't care what happens to anyone else I just want Finnick, Mags and Johanna back. I watch as Mags is still making her way back to shore and how Johanna is still stranded there unable to swim to shore and then the next thing I know Finnick is striding back into the ocean.  
'Get Johanna, help her Finnick. Please!' But he goes straight past her and grabs Peeta from where he stands pulling him back into the ocean. As they reach the shore Mags runs up to join them and I'm relieved that Finnick is going to protect her, hopefully they can get out of this together just like Katniss and Peeta did last year. Finnick scoops Mags up on his back and they head for the forest.

* * *

I watch them walk for ages, and for some reason I actually feel happy. I haven't seen Finnick in almost a year and now I can keep track of him. For the moment he's safe and he's with Mags and they have a chance of winning this, they can come back alive. That is until they stopped to rest, the way Katniss looked at Finnick, it was like she was thinking of how many ways she could kill him and how fast she could do it before he even had the time to defend himself.  
'What's going on down there, Katniss? Have they all joined hands? Taken a vow of nonviolence? Tossed the weapons in the sea in defiance of the Capitol?' Finnick asks.  
'No,' she says, I am suddenly very aware of her fingering the bow in her hands.  
'Run Finnick, run.' I mutter under my breath wishing he would just leave, he didn't need her to survive he could win this thing all by himself.  
'No," Finnick repeats. 'Because whatever happened in the past is in the past. And no one in this arena was a Victor by chance.' He eyes Peeta for a moment. 'Except maybe Peeta.' Her eyes grow wide and ferocity courses through them, I want to jump into the screen and rip her to pieces for looking at him like that. But luckily Peeta stands in between them, he eyes Katniss and holds his ground and after a while they move on. Then it happens, as they move through the trees the sky begins to glimmer and shine, and Peeta walks right into the light it absorbs his body and sends him shooting back. Katniss screams and runs to him shaking his body but he doesn't move, she lays her head against his chest, her eyes grow wide in shock.  
'Peeta!' she screams. She shakes him harder, slapping him straight across the face and screaming his name. Finnick pushes her out of the way and begins something so similar that it brings back nothing but bad memories.

* * *

_I tried to drag him to the surface but he was heavy and kept dragging me down and I did not dare to give up on him, after what seemed like forever I finally pulled him up on the bank, his lips had turned blue and he wasn't breathing._

_I lay him on his back and began to do an everyday activity of District 4, CPR. I pumped at his chest, in an attempt to start his heart and pressed my lips to his breathing deeply into his lungs.  
'Come on baby, don't you give up on me now. 'One, two, three, four, five. One, two, three, four, five. Please baby, please wake up.' His lips were still blue and his heartbeat was fading but I didn't dare to give up on him, the cannon hadn't sounded yet and until I heard that blast I wouldn't even begin to consider that he could die. Tears streamed down my face mixing with the water from the lake and the blood from the monster smeared across my front, I tried to fight them back but I couldn't, Thresh wasn't allowed to die._

_An explosion echoed across the valley and I could see and smell smoke furling up from behind the field but I didn't stop, if something was coming to get me I didn't care, he was all I cared about and nothing would stop me from saving him. 'One, two, three, four fiv...' A stream of water shot out of his mouth into my face, he began to choke, gag and gasp for air as his eyes flew open. I rolled him over onto his side as he continued to vomit up lake water and stroked his hair, crying with joy that I had brought him back. When the retching subsided he turned back onto his back still breathing heavily, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest.  
'My hero.' He whispered in my ear, his voice hoarse and cracking._

* * *

I curled up in a ball and cried, wishing I could have him back. Wanting to be with him forever and now I'd lost him, my best friend and I was about to lose the only people I had left. Boreas came in and leaned against the door.  
'Had enough yet little girl?' I just hugged my knees in tighter and kept crying. 'Come on, just tell us what you know and I can make this all stop. He knelt beside me and pulled my face up to his. 'Just say it and I can make sure your brother is the only one who survives or Mags or Johanna if that's what you want. I'll let you pick. No tell me what you know.'  
'All I know is that you're a piece of shit, and that if you touch another hair on one of their heads I will get you!' I said spitting in his face, he stormed out of the room leaving me alone with my pain.

* * *

I wake to the sound of screaming, I must have cried myself to sleep and not even realised it, the last thing I remembered was Peeta dying but there he was on the screen, very much alive and running for his life with the rest of them. A wall of fog is descending upon them, curling around their ankles, its sickly green and their skin turns red wherever it touches them. Then the worst happens, their skin begins to sag, Katniss' arms seem to have a mind of their own and then Finnick's start to the same as he trades Mags for Peeta.  
'No! Run leave them! You don't need to help them! LET THEM DIE!' I scream at the scream and wriggle against my restraints. 'LET THEM DIE!'  
'Can you take both of them?' She asks, and I'm fuming. He doesn't need her, he needs to save himself and Mags. They're the only ones who matter.  
'No,' he says. 'I can't carry them both. My arms aren't working. I'm sorry, Mags. I can't do it.' It all happens so fast, she kisses Finnick on the lips and runs straight into the fog. Her body jerks and she falls to the ground, the camera zooms in on her face and I can see the pain written across it.  
'NO!' I leap forward and smash right into the screen, my restraints snapping out of the ground. I fall forwards, my arms still bound but I've gained the ability to stand. The TV lays smashed in front of me and I sink to the ground crying. She was my the closest thing to a mother I had left.

'Tsk, Tsk little girl that'll teach you to fall asleep.' I whirl around and slam my body into his and he goes sprawling into the hallway.  
'H... How?' I stand over him, rage coursing through my body.  
'I WARNED YOU! YOU FUCKING TOUCH ANOTHER HAIR ON ONE OF THEIR HEADS REMEMBER! NOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT!' I stood over him and pinned his throat to the floor with my foot. 'Not so little now am I?' I cock my head to the side and smile, then something rams into me from the side and my arms are pinned to the floor by two other peacekeepers. One of them pulls my arm free and shoves a needle into the flesh.  
'You look pretty little too me.' Is the last thing I hear before I pass out.

* * *

I wake up and everything is foggy, my head stings and the world is spinning. My body feels heavier and I realise it's because my entire body is now pinned to the floor with chains instead of just my hands and feet, I can just lift my head off the floor and see the TV screen, as my vision comes back into focus I see Finnick sleeping and next to him lies Johanna. I had no idea how she got there but I was so relieved that they could protect each other now. He looks horrible, his skin green and peeling I assume from the gas but it makes me sad to see him like that. My head is still foggy so I go in and out of consciousness, when I wake up again Johanna and Katniss are at each other's throats.

'Seems like you'd have figured that out,' Katniss says. 'Since you nicknamed him Volts and all.'  
Johanna's eyes narrowed at her dangerously. 'Yeah, that was really stupid of me, wasn't it?' she says. 'I guess I must have been distracted by keeping your little friends alive. While you were...what, again? Getting Mags killed off?' That brought tears to my eyes and rage boiled up inside of me, i wanted so badly for her to rip her to pieces. Katniss' fingers tightened on the knife handle on her belt.  
'Go ahead. Try it. I don't care if you are knocked up, I'll rip your throat out,' says Johanna.  
'Maybe we all had better be careful where we step,' says Finnick, shooting Katniss a look. I lay watching as they map out the arena but then something in the distance catches my eye, I see them sneaking slowly up behind them.  
'No, no, no, NO!' Gloss slits Wiress across the throat; I'm begging them to turn around. I always like Wiress and Beetee; they would sit with me in the audience every year. Katniss shoots Gloss in the side of the head and Johanna thrusts her ax into Cashmere's chest. Finnick knocks away a spear Brutus throws at Peeta and takes Enobaria's knife in his thigh, causing me to scream at the top of my lungs.  
'FINNICK! SOMEONE SAVE HIM!'

Suddenly the ground jerks beneath their feet and the floor starts to spin and watching it makes me dizzy, they're flying around, tumbling and falling all over the place. When it stops Enobaria and Brutus disappear into the forest and the rest stay there panting. Finnick drags Beetee back to shore and Katniss saves his wire from Wiress' lifeless body as it drifts away. Finnick rips off his shirt to bandage his leg and I roll my eyes, thinking of how many idiotic Capitol ladies will swoon at the sight and I hold back the gagging. Finnick and Katniss head into the forest to find water and immediately everything goes wrong. A little girl's screaming pierces the air and sends Katniss into a frenzy, running deeper into the trees to find the source for the noise, she finds a bird sitting in a tree and shoots it down putting an end to the screaming and then it starts, as Finnick catches up to her, a familiar voice fills the air. The color vanishes from Finnick's face and his eyes grow wide in fear. I attempt to clamp my hands over my ears trying to block out the noise, the voice of Annie, my almost sister. But my hands are bound so tightly that I can't stop the noise so I start to scream myself hopingt to drown out her voice but it doesn't work, her voice just gets louder and louder.

Then it stops and I realise that Katniss killed the monster responsible and scrunch my eyes together and try to control my breathing.  
'It's all right, Finnick. It's just a jabberjay. They're playing a trick on us,' Katniss says. 'It's not real. It's not your ... Annie.'  
'No, it's not Annie. But the voice was hers. Jabberjays mimic what they hear. Where did they get those screams, Katniss?' he says. My eyes grow wide in fear at the thought of Annie going through the same things I am. That she could be in this building and Boreas could be torturing her without me knowing it.  
'Oh, Finnick, you don't think they ...'  
'Yes. I do. That's exactly what I think,' he says,  
'Please be wrong,' I mutter to myself but I wouldn't put it past the Capitol to something that horrible after what I watched them do to Toby. Finnick and Katniss try to run but the run straight into a wall made to keep them imprisoned with those horrible noises. Birds begin to surround them and screams fill the air, I thought hearing Annie was hard but when Toby and Mags' voices filled the air my heart broke. They were dead and they were still using them to cause pain. Finnick hunches over in pain blocking his ears but I don't have that luxury, I have to sit there and listen to their cries. Boreas comes in and leans against the door watching me writhe in pain, my cheeks stained with tears. A smile passes his lips, and he just stands there laughing. It feels like years before it finally stops, I lay curled up on the floor unable to do anything, Boreas gives me one last smirk before leaving and I pass out, emotionally drained.

* * *

When I wake it's the middle of the night and the group stands around staring at a tree. Beetee begins unrolls yards and yards of golden thread, he has Finnick secure it tightly around a broken branch and lay it on the ground. Then they stand on either side of the tree, passing the spool back and forth as they wrap the wire around and around the trunk. He asks Johanna and Katniss to take the thread down through the jungle, unwinding it as they go and drop it into the water. They head down into the wilderness leaving Finnick and Beetee behind with Peeta. They stand there waiting for a while until out of nowhere Enobaria runs straight towards them driving her knife into Beetee's side sending him sprawling, she runs at Finnick who smashes her straight in the face. Peeta runs into the forest screaming for Katniss as the wire goes slack meaning something happened to her and Johanna. Finnick fights off Enobaria and follows Peeta through the trees.

The screen cuts to Johanna who spins and smashes Katniss in the side the head with the holder of the thread. She falls unconscious on the ground and Johanna pins her to the ground and shoves her knife into Katniss' arm. My eyes grow wide with realization, I remember back to when I was in the games and to where the tracking chip was kept. They were escaping. Johanna covers Katniss' face with blood making her seem like she is dead.  
'Stay down!' she hisses before running back into the trees. She runs through the jungle along with Finnick, Brutus and Enobaria jump out in front of her face causing her to shriek. She dodges their attacks and shoves her knife into Brutus' chest; he falls over dead, the cannon booming above the chaos. Enobaria brings her elbow down on her temple and knocks her to the ground. She moans and blood trickles down her face. Enobaria is about to finish her off when she hears Finnick and Peeta calling for Katniss. She runs off in search of them leaving Johanna bleeding on the floor.

Enobaria and Finnick reach the tree at the same time, Katniss kneels at the base, Beetee's limp body in her arms, she points her arrow towards them. Another cannon sounds and tears fill my eyes as I think back to Johanna's limp body and how it could be signaling her death. And now soon Finnick will be dead, he can't see Katniss there waiting to drive that arrow through his heart. But at the last second she turns and shoots her arrow into the sky. Lightning hits the trees and a flash of white runs up the thread, and the sky bursts into a dazzling blue light. They're thrown backwards as the sky shimmers and explodes, and I realize they've destroyed whatever's been keeping them trapped in the arena.

* * *

Boreas runs into my room as a hovercraft zooms across the screen collecting tributes and pulling them into the sky. He smashes the off button on the screen and it goes black, but it's too late I saw my brother get rescued. He stands there panting glaring at me and I tilt my head to the side and smirk.  
'I win!' I laugh until he drives his foot into the side of my head and darkness overtakes me.

**Yeah so sorry this chapter took so long but it's so long you understand why now. Umm... I don't really like this chapter because it's not all my own and it's just like the last half of Catching Fire shoved into one chapter with a few additions, the next chapter will be better I promise. If you guys have any suggestions of what you want to happen I'd love to hear them so I'll have something to provide inspiration when I get writer's block and I will credit you if I decide to use it. Review, Rate, Favourite all that jazz it means a lot :)**


	10. One of a Kind

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

'Knock, Knock.' Boreas leaned against the wall smirking at me as I tried to get up and kill him. 'Don't struggle little girl, it'll only make things worse for you... On second thought do struggle.'  
'What do you want?' I rolled my eyes at him and he scoffed.  
'We're getting some visitors today, after that little stunt your friends pulled we decided we need some insurance.' He knelt beside me and grabbed my face pulling it up to face his, 'Oh I am going to enjoy this.'

* * *

He led me down the hallway and I began to worry, the last time something like this happened he killed my best friend. Visitors, insurance it didn't sound good and I fought back the tears trying to remain strong, I immediately wished I hadn't gloated when my brother escaped, I knew he was going to make sure I suffered. We walked into a hangar off of the main hall and he chained me to a chair.

I sat watching as a hovercraft landed and a stream of peacekeepers came out. Boreas walked up to them and I was too far away to hear what they were saying but he turned around and smirked at me more than so I could gather something bad was about to happen. He motioned to the hovercraft and 3 people in chains walked off being pulled along by peacekeepers, their heads covered in sacks. Boreas walked back to me and stood beside me as the others lined up the prisoners in front of me. Boreas walked up behind them and pulled the bags off their faces, I screamed and struggled against my bonds as Annie, Johanna and Peeta all stood before me, gags in their mouths and their eyes wide.  
'LET THEM GO THEY'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG!' I tried to get up lifting the chair off the ground but he grabbed me by the shoulder and shoved me back down.  
'Really because at least two of them were involved in rebellious activities. I would call that something.' He turned to them and paced back and forwards along the line.  
'The little girl here is to show you what happens when you don't obey the rules. She thinks she's so brave standing up to us, but where has that gotten her? I mean just look at her.' I raised my eyebrows unsure of what he meant by that until I caught sight of my reflection in the side of the hovercraft, I was as skinny as a rake, my bones visible beneath the skin pulled tight across my face, my hair stuck to my head with blood, it was matted and disgusting. I looked completely horrifying.

'Now little girl, tell your friends what happens when you break the rules.' He patted my shoulder and I lashed out and ripped at the flesh with my teeth, he screamed and smashed me across the face with the back of his hand.  
'Do that again and you'll lose those teeth.'  
'Careful honey, remember you're not supposed to get to close to the teeth. Wouldn't want to lose your nose. It would be an improvement I mean just ask your friend his face looks a whole lot better. I think... you couldn't tell with all the blood.' He backhanded me again and I could see tears forming in Annie's eyes, she looked so scared and it broke my heart.  
'Annie baby don't be scared. I'll protect you I promise.'

'Aww isn't that sweet, your brother would be so proud of you defending his mental girlfriend.' I hopped onto my feet still chained to the chair and rammed my head into his stomach causing him to crash to the ground winded.  
'No one and I mean no one insults my Annie; I dare you to try again. Annie, sweetie are you okay?' A flash of recognition flashed across Johanna's face, her eyes went wide and she motioned at me like she couldn't believe what was happening. Boreas rose to his feet,  
'Mark my words little girl I will kill your whole family, like I killed that friend of yours. I'll take this girl next and then I'll head back for Finnick and I will make you watch just like before. Take that one to chamber 1 put the rest in their cells. The girl is coming with me.' He grabbed the back of the chair and dragged it along behind him.

* * *

I fought against him and wriggled against the chains the whole way to the chamber. He deposited me in the room with the transparent wall, where I saw Toby die. The floor of the other room was still stained with his blood and the sight of it made me gag.  
'Have fun little girl. I know I'm going to!' He smirked and spun on his heel leaving me chained to the chair in the empty room. I struggled against the straps but they held fast, as I was struggling two peacekeepers dragged a screaming Annie into the opposite room and threw her to the floor before leaving. I managed to scoot the chair over to the glass and Annie crawled up beside it staring at me.  
'Who are you?' Her eyes were wide and full of tears and she refused to look at me directly.  
'It's me Annie, it's Jay.'  
'Jay died.' Her voice was no more than a whisper and I knew it was something she'd been telling herself every day since I left trying to remind herself that I wasn't coming back.  
'They lied to you Annie, they hid me away because I was bad.'  
'I don't believe you. Finnick said, Finnick doesn't lie to me.'  
'Finnick also sleeps with a nightlight. He didn't lie to you because he didn't know. Please Annie you have to believe me we're sisters, we do each other's hair in front of the fire, we go swimming on weekends and we cook dinner together every night. Your favourite colour is green and you like lilies so one year on your birthday I dyed some for you but the paint ran and I destroyed the carpet and then you made Finnick dye the rest of it that colour because you said it looked prettier than the grey it was before. Please Annie, you have to believe me.'  
'I believe you.' She moved closer to the glass and rested her head against it, her eyes meeting mine for the first time.  
'Good. I'm going to get us out of here I promise. You just need to be strong for just a little while longer okay?' She nodded and the peacekeepers took that moment to storm in and forced Annie to the floor. They shoved her face into a large tub of water and held her under as she kicked and screamed trying to get to the surface. All the while they were screaming at her asking her what she knew, who was a part of the rebellion, where the others were hiding but all she could do was scream.

* * *

After hours Boreas dragged me back to my room, Annie was fine for the most part, they stopped when she looked like she was going to pass out and Boreas came in to take us away. When we got to my room I realised that it was no longer empty, Peeta was sitting huddled on the floor, his wrists bound with a chain connecting him to the floor.  
'Meet your new roommate little girl, the boy who a year ago would have killed you if he had the chance.' He set me down and got to work chaining me back to the floor which was a job that could take up to half an hour. Peeta looked confused as to why I was so heavily restrained but didn't say anything until Boreas left.  
'What did you do to make them so mad?'  
'I killed twenty people, maybe more; I don't know how many people died when I blew up their hovercraft hangar. Not to mention I escaped the Hunger Games single handedly and made them look like fools and I may or may not have spat in President Snow's face. Oh and I incited a rebellion in District 11, you know your everyday shenanigans.' His jaw dropped and his eyes grew wide as he shook his head.  
'And I thought what we did was bad.'  
'It was, yours was bad in a different way, you openly disgraced and undermined the Capitol whilst I did it in secret. I think they'd be more pissed when it comes to you because they can get rid of me without causing a fuss and without anyone ever knowing what I did whilst with you and Katniss it's a lot harder.'  
'What are they going to do to me?' His eyes full of worry and I could see tears forming at the edges.  
'Depends on what they want, depends on what you let them. They can't do anything to me physically because they know I don't care about my own safety but they know I'll crack like an egg when I see someone I care about get hurt.'  
'How did they figure that out?'

I remain silent for a long time staring at the floor and thinking about his screams, when I spoke it was barely a whisper. 'They kidnapped my best friend and beat him to death in front of me, it nearly killed me.' I let my hair hang over my face so that he couldn't see me cry and let the tears roll slowly down my cheeks. He didn't say anything for a long time, he just sat there watching me.  
'I'm sorry, about Thresh as well,' I made a loud choking noise when he said his name. 'He saved Katniss' life and without her I'd be nothing.'  
'Without him I'm nothing.' He inched closer but his chains didn't let him get close enough to touch me.  
'You aren't nothing, you're as hard as rock. You defied the Capitol all by yourself, the rest of us needed help but you, you're one of a kind.'

**So this is kinda short, I've started another story for Harry Potter but it won't get in the way of me posting this one, you guys can check it out if you want to. Umm... yeah, rate, review, follow and favourite, it means a lot and it keeps me posting so yeah I'll shut up now.**


	11. A Past Life

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

I squeezed my eyes shut as they hook Johanna up to the machine, she didn't like it when I looked, the first time they did it she was screaming at me to look away. Annie was the opposite, I had to watch her and constantly remind her it was going to be okay, she didn't scream as much when I did. They gave us five minutes before they began torturing them to talk, I never understood why until Johanna told me this morning.

_'I can't believe they'd actually think we'd be that stupid.'  
'What do you mean?'  
'Isn't it obvious? They think that we're going to discuss the rebellion when they're not looking. That we actually think they aren't listening.'  
'Well maybe they think we're more likely to slip up when we're talking to each other, make us feel more at ease.'_

* * *

I could hear her screams pounding in my ears, it was the one thing I could never get rid of, the chains prevented me from moving so I had to just sit there and listen. After a while Boreas takes me back to my cell and sets me down next to Peeta. He's the one person I don't witness getting tortured, because I see the aftermath. I see his mind leave him a little bit every day. He was curled up in a ball muttering to himself, sweat pouring down his face.

'Peeta, are you okay?' He lifted his head and stared at me, his eyes so full of hate.  
'She's going to kill us, she's coming. They showed me, they showed me what she did.'  
'Peeta, please. It isn't real. She helped you, she helped Finnick.' He shook his head and scrunched his eyes shut tears rolling down his face.  
'Tell me something happy.' I sighed; he requested it every day, it helped with the pain. Replacing the bad with the good, sometimes I tried to talk about Katniss but it made him mad and he'd go crazy. It was getting harder to find a happy memory, everything felt like it had happened in another life. I closed my eyes and said the first thing I could think of.

_'Seriously, hurry up. You're so damn slow.' I rolled my eyes and ran up behind my brother and pushed him to the side, he tripped over and landed on his ass laughing. He got to his feet and started chasing me up the hill, I sprinted as fast as I could but he was too fast. He caught up to me and tossed me over his shoulder and I screamed for him to put me down. Annie who was helping Mags up the hill was laughing at the top her lungs, a smile played across Mags' lips as Finnick carried me to the top and dropped me on the ground. He pulled the bag from his back and tossed it on top of me; I pushed it off and tackled him around the ankles sending him rolling back down the side of the hill. Mags made a sound and we stopped fighting and Annie helped Finnick to his feet. He pulled the picnic blanket from the bag and spread it out, Mags slowly sat down and the rest of us plopped down next to her. Finnick started pulling food from the bag and we filled our stomachs to the brim._

_I lay on the blanket looking out at the ocean whilst Annie lay next to me, her head in Finnick's lap as he played with her hair. Mags was curled up asleep next to us, she was covered in Finnick's jacket since he didn't want her to get cold. I began weaving a basket from red, gold and purple ribbons Mags had brought along. The wind blew through the trees behind us and the setting sun made the water glitter. It was the perfect day._

* * *

'Do you think you'll ever go back?' I sighed and shook my head as Peeta pulled me out of my memory.  
'I'm not sure, if we ever get out of here maybe. But even then I can't know what's going to happen; I think I'm not that person anymore, that lazy day person with nothing to do and no worries in the world. If that happened now I might rip my hair out from boredom or always be suspicious that something was going to happen. Moments like that don't last.' He nodded and stared at the ground, he looked calmer though and I was glad. 'Do you have a happy memory?' His face scrunched up again and I could tell he was trying to fight the sadness they put in his head.  
'No.' He said after a while and I nodded sadly.

Boreas stormed through the door and grabbed me by the hair.  
'It's the girl's turn now, come and watch.'

**Kinda short I know but I wanted a chapter to show their friendship more I guess. Umm... I might be slow posting over the next few weeks as I have my mock exams EW! I will try but I do have to study. I also have another story in the Harry Potter section if you guys want to check it but you don't have to. It's called The Pheonix. Review, Follow and Favourite, it means alot thanks.**


	12. Another Life

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

I wake to Peeta screaming and thrashing next to me. His eyes are clenched shut and sweat pours down his face, I'm used to his nightmares now but they still bring me to tears to see him like this.  
'Peeta wake up. PEETA!' I scream at the top of my lungs, he sits bolt upright, his eyes wide and scared. He looks at me panting, with tears running down his face.  
'Wha... What? Jay?'  
'It's okay Peeta, you were having a nightmare. It's not real, you're safe now.' I reached out as far as I could and his hand reached over to meet mine, our fingers barely brushed each other we were that far apart and the tears continued to fall from his eyes. 'I'll keep you safe, I promise. Tell me what happened.' He shook his head and looked away from me, I could tell he was scared. I stared at him until he began to talk.  
'I was in the games and I was hiding from the careers in the bushes. She came up behind me and grabbed me by the hair and dragged me to the water. She held my head under until I felt like I was going to explode, I couldn't breathe and my lungs felt like they were full of lead. Her eyes, so full of evil.'

I lay down and listened to him, he was becoming more and more scared of Katniss. Every night they got worse and worse, she started out just chasing him through the forest and then she would hit him and now. I rolled over to look at him again.  
'It isn't real, you know that right? Katniss isn't evil, you love her Peeta. You would do anything to save her, I've seen you do it.' He shook his head like he always did when I started talking about her, he believed me at first but with every passing day he lost a part of himself that I'm sure he'd never really get back.

'What do you remember of home Peeta? You always ask me, what do you remember?' He looked off into the distance for a while and his face scrunched up like it always did when he was concentrating really hard.  
'I remember my family, my parents, I have two brothers. Micheal and James. We live in a bakery, I like to decorate the cakes, it's what I'm really good at as well as painting.' He stops and doesn't say anything else,  
'Is painting your talent?'  
'Yes, do you have one?'  
'No, I never had the chance. I didn't win remember, you did. But if I was going to have one it would probably be fishing, I think it's the only thing I actually know how to do. But it isn't anything special, everyone can fish where I'm from and even then they all have special talents that go along with it. Like Mags, she can make fishing hooks out of anything it's like magic.'  
'So if you were never in the games you'd become a fisherman?' I laughed and Peeta managed a smile,  
'Everyone in my District is a fisherman so yes, I guess I would be. I'd be living in some little cottage by the ocean and probably married to my best friend Toby. I mean that's how I always saw my life. But now the most I can hope for is to get out of this hole, I don't know what'll happen after that.'  
'I think you're life will be everything you've ever wanted.' I smiled sadly as a tear rolled down my cheek.  
'We should get some sleep, you never know what they'll try tomorrow.'  
**I wanted to put more of their friendship in because I didn't think I covered it enough in the last chapter. For the people who think it's getting too sad I promise that'll stop soon. Review and fav, it means a lot**


	13. You're Not Real!

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

I woke up to the sound of screaming, it wasn't like before the screams of the tortured this was weird. It was coming from all directions mixed with the sound of gun fire and explosions; the earth was shaking rapidly under my feet. Peeta wasn't beside me so I knew they'd taken him for their sick experiments. Then I heard it, Annie was shrieking at the top of her voice,  
'JAY! JAY! WHERE'S JAY! HELP, HELP! JAY!'  
'ANNIE?! ANNIE?! DON'T YOU TOUCH HER, LET HER GO! ANNIE I'M COMING, I'M TRYING I PROMISE!' I screamed for her struggling against my chains until I started to bleed but I wouldn't stop even when the tears started to fall from my eyes, she had never sounded so scared and I had to save her.

I heard voices but there was so much chaos I couldn't hear what they were saying, they were followed by footsteps echoing down the corridor to my cell. I held my breath and tried to wipe the tears from my face, they couldn't see me weak I had to be strong to survive this. There was an explosion just outside before the door to my cell swung open revealing a tall, tanned man who looked only a few years older than me.

He knelt down next to me and undid my restraints; I tackled him to the floor before he could even stand up. I undid the straps of his rifle and spun it round in my hands before pointing it at his face, I pinned his hands to the floor with my knees and hovered over him.  
'Big mistake, didn't they tell you? You have to put the next set on before letting me go or bad things happen, I'm never supposed to be out of restraints. I tend to get cranky, I'm surprised they even sent you in here alone seeing as what happened to the last guy, maybe they wanted you to die, I know I do. Now you tell me what you did to my Annie or this bullet goes straight through your brain.' He gulped his eyes wide and frantic, he tried to push me off him but I shoved him down with the butt of the rifle.  
'Uh uh, not happening, now where is she. Answer me truthfully or you die.'

I was seconds away from pulling the trigger when in stormed a large man with grey hair and familiar grey eyes,  
'Gale what's taking so...' I spun the rifle to face him keeping the man named Gale's hands pinned to the floor.  
'You're not real. This is a trick. They did it to him but they can't do it to me. My memories are mine. THEY'RE MINE!' My hands shook and I could barely hold the gun anymore, my vision was blurred by tears but I wasn't going to let them turn me into a monster like Peeta.  
'Jay? Is that... is that you?'  
'YOU'RE NOT REAL' He walked forward slowly, his eyes full of concern and surprise, he reached his hand out towards me.  
'DON'T TOUCH ME!' I fell backwards and backed up towards the wall shrinking down and trying to hide from my own mind still focusing the gun on his forehead. He pulled Gale to his feet and sent him outside.

He knelt down and moved slowly towards me.  
'Jay, you know me. Its Haymitch remember? I'm friends with your brother, I'm friends with Annie and Mags and you. We met when your brother was in the games, remember?'  
I shook my head frantically trying to clear it still sure they were doing something to me.  
'You're not real; Johanna get's electricity, Annie gets water and I get friends. You aren't real; you're here to hurt me.' My voice quavered and I spoke in barely a whisper, this was true torture.  
'Remember when Finnick won and you were standing outside his room because they wouldn't let you see him and you asked me why they were keeping him from you? And I said because they needed to make him perfect again and you said...'  
'He's always perfect.' I whispered cutting him off. 'Haymitch?' He nodded, I dropped the gun and I thrust my arms around his neck knowing he was real, they could only destroy memories that they had and no one knew that but him.  
'Come on sweetheart we're going to get you out of here okay.' I nodded and he scooped me up into his arms, picked up the rifle and carried me out of the room, the hall was empty except for Gale.  
'We have to go now or we'll never make it out.'

* * *

I sat in the hovercraft with my head on Annie's lap as she stroked my hair.  
'We're going to see Finnick,' she told me as a smile broke out across her face. I turned to face her.  
'Annie, please don't tell Finnick I'm alive. I want to tell him myself okay.'  
'I won't tell.' She moved her fingers over her mouth like a zipper and I smiled for the first time in ages something good was happening. Out of nowhere I felt a hand on my shoulder; I grabbed it, jumped up and twisted. Gale flipped through the air and landed on the floor wincing in pain.  
'Sorry, I thought...' He stood up slowly rubbing his backside.  
'It's okay I get it, I wouldn't trust anyone either.' I noticed his other arm was limp by his side and covered in blood.  
'Did I... Did I do that?' I asked pointing at the wound, he shook his head,  
'I got that before we even found you guys, we were taking heavy fire when we arrived. No one even knew you were alive, how did you even?'  
'It's a long story that I don't feel like telling.' I walked away and curled up next to Annie placing my head in her lap again.

* * *

I sat in the bed whilst the nurse bandaged my wrists which had become swollen and bruised not to mention blood soaked from when I tried to get to Annie.  
'Is Annie okay?'  
'She's just fine; everyone seems to be just fine. I promise, just a little shaken up.'  
'That's not true, you didn't hear it. Johanna was electrocuted, she is not fine. Annie was whipped, she is not fine. Peeta's brain was turned to mush and I watched my best friend die right in front of me, we are definitely not fine so don't lie to me.' My rant is interrupted when Haymitch pulls back the curtain and walks in.  
'Stop terrorising the nurses, you're starting to sound like Katniss.'  
'I'm sorry if I'm not in a party mood.'  
'Come on Coin wants to see you.'  
'Who's Coin?' I ask confused,  
'She's the President of 13. Get dressed.' He throws a plain, grey outfit at me and pulls the curtains closed. The nurse follows him, she stops to say something but decides against it and hurries out.

* * *

I pull the clothes on and sit on the edge of the bed, I get up and peek through the curtain I saw Annie sitting outside and Gale was getting his arm bandaged. He turned and smiled at me but then winced in pain as the nurse pulled shrapnel from his arm. Then my heart stopped as he walked in, his bronze-hair was messy and there were bags under his green eyes but it was him.  
'FINNICK!' I heard Annie scream as she catapulted across the room into his arms, they stay there hugging. I see Katniss walk in behind him, she smiles at Gale but is lead off by Haymitch. I walk back to the bed and sink down. After awhile the curtain flies open.  
'Hey I'm supposed to take you to see Coin.'  
'Aren't you injured?'  
'Aren't you dead?' I laugh and Gale extends his good arm to help me to my feet as he reaches to open the curtain I shove him out of the way and pull it closed.  
'No!'  
'What are you?'  
'Finnick's out there, I can't let him see me. Not like this, not now.' Gale nods his head and moves me aside to peer out of the curtain.  
'It looks like he's occupied with Annie.'  
'Yeah but what happens if he decides to look up as I walk past?'  
'That's highly unlikely.' I cross my arms across my chest and glare at him until he sighs. He walked over to the bed and yanks the covers off, he throws them over my head and throws me over his good shoulder.  
'There now you're laundry. No one will ever recognize you.'  
'Yeah because this is sooo much better.' I rolled my eyes but he couldn't see since there was a blanket over my head. 'Won't you hurt yourself?'  
'You way about as much as Prim's cat.' He started walking, 'Hey Finnick, Annie.' He said laughing so I kicked him in stomach but that just made him laugh harder.  
'Hi Gale...?' My heart stopped when I heard his voice he sounded confused.  
'Just taking out the laundry, isn't it great to have everyone back.' He didn't even give them time to reply before walking off, we went down a few halls before he let me down.

I yanked the blanket off my head and threw it at him, 'That wasn't funny!'  
'Yeah it was, come on he didn't know it was you.' I stormed down the hall,  
'You're going the wrong way.' He pointed out laughing again; I spun on my heel and stormed past him. He followed me down the hall, 'It's that door on your left.' I walked through the door and saw a woman with long, grey hair and grey eyes standing with a man I knew to be Plutarch Heavensbee talking in hushed tones, they stop as I walk in.  
'Miss Odair, it's good to see you again.'  
'Really because the last time I saw you, you were setting me up to get killed in the Hunger Games.' Gale put his hand on my shoulder in an attempt to hold me back but I swatted it off and turned back to Plutarch. 'Why should I trust you?'  
'I helped your brother and friends escape the Hunger Games and that Capitol prison.'  
I ran forwards and kicked him in the stomach causing him to crash into the wall, I grab his throat with my hand and pin him to the wall.  
'Yeah because I saved myself from the Hunger Games and if I'm right you knew I was in there the whole time. I spent almost a year of my life in that hell but it wasn't until your precious little Mockingjay wanted her boyfriend back that you actually gave a damn about me. Now why should I trust you?' I tightened my grip on his throat and he began to gasp for air, Gale grabbed me from behind and pulls me off of him.  
'Miss Odair please calm down, Plutarch has proven his trustworthiness. We called you here to ask you how you escaped.' I sunk into the nearest chair,  
'Now that is a long story.'

**I know in the original Hunger Games Haymitch doesn't go with them but I needed someone she would know for this chapter to work and he was the only option so don't comment that he wasn't there because I know but I've decided to change it. Review and Favourite please.**


	14. I Promise

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

I sat in the hard back chair of the dining hall and just stared at the food on my plate thinking back to my meeting with Coin. She had listened to everything I had to say but it was like she had heard it all before and I was certain Plutarch had already filled her in on everything that had happened in the Capitol but that wasn't the worst part of the meeting,

_'Miss Odair, given your history of violence and your recent threats against my colleague here I consider you to be a danger to the people of 13.'  
'A danger?! You have to be kidding me; I only hurt people who deserve it.' I glared at Plutarch and he backed slowly away which was hard seeing as the office was so small.  
'Until I can trust you will do as you say I'm going to assign you a guard to make sure you behave. Private Hawthorn, I'm putting you in charge of Miss Odair here.'  
'ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I don't need a babysitter.'  
'It's only temporary Miss Odair; until I am sure you can be trusted._

* * *

'Where did you disappear to? You know it's my job to watch you.' Gale slid into the seat across from me, I had ditched him after I had gotten my room assignment and had spent the rest of the afternoon trying to return myself to something resembling a human being.  
'I went to take a shower that's not illegal now is it? Or do you have to make sure I'm not a danger to the plumbing?' He shook his head smiling and we sat there staring at each other for a while.  
'Aren't you going to eat anything?' I looked at the untouched food on my plate and sighed.  
'It's been a while since you know, I've had so much food and plus the whole knife and fork thing.'  
'You've been on the run for over a year, it's understandable that you don't remember stuff like that. Here let me help you.' He picked up my fork and slipped it between my fingers and cupped my hand in his. 'There, just like that. Don't worry you'll get it eventually.'  
'Maybe Coin's right, I'm a savage. I can't even use a stupid fork.' Tears ran down my cheeks and I stared at the table trying not to look Gale in the eye.  
'They're like that with everyone, they don't trust Katniss at all and she hasn't even done a 10th of the things you have.'  
I nodded, 'How do you hold it again.' He laughed and cupped my hand in his.

* * *

I stood outside Haymitch's room waiting for him to come out and talk to me, I paced the small hallway and played with my hair.  
'Hey kiddo, you need something?' He stood leaning against the door and it made me wince thinking of how Boreas would do the same thing when he was taunting me.  
'I wanted to ask you if I could see Peeta, please he's my friend and I need to know if he's okay.'  
'Look he's unstable, anything that reminds him of Katniss could trigger him.'  
'I don't remind him of Katniss, I've shared a shithole of a cell with him for months. You didn't have to sit there with him and watch that nice, innocent guy disappear. I did, I had to sit there and see him lose a piece of himself every second they had him. I don't remind him of Katniss I remind him of me and how I sat there and talked to him for hours trying to calm him down when he tried to kill himself. I held him together. NOW LET ME SEE HIM!'

Haymitch stepped back shocked as I clenched my hands into a fist, after a while he nodded and led me down to where they were keeping Peeta. He had restraints on him, pinning him to the bed in the centre of the room. My eyes grew wide and I felt like I was going to puke, Haymitch put his hand on my shoulder. I walk to the glass and think of how hard we tried to get out for him to be put straight back in the same position.  
'It's for his own good, he tries to kill anyone when they come in.'  
'Guess he learnt that from me.' I pushed past him and all the people watching Peeta through the sheet of glass, someone tried to stop me but I just shoved them away and entered the room.

'JAY!'  
'Peeta!' I ran into the room, dropped down to my knees next to the bed and tossed my arms around his neck, the restraints making the hug awkward as he tried to prop himself up on his elbows. 'Thank god you're okay.'  
'Have you seen Katniss, she's out there, she could get you. She killed my family and I won't have her killing you too.' He started to pull on the restraints trying to get free.  
'Shh. Hey, Hey.' I cupped his face in my hand very aware of the people with guns who had just run in behind me. 'Remember what I told you, she won't hurt me and she won't hurt you. I promise, they put it in your head. She didn't do it please remember. I just want the old you back.' I tucked a strand of hair behind his ear as he scrunched up his face and shook his head like he always did when I tried to contradict his memories. 'Don't shake your head at me Peeta, please just try. Think of a happy memory, you know it helps.' He closed his eyes for a minute concentrating, trying to remember.  
'I... I... can't.' He hung his head and tried to avoid my eyes. 'She came in, she came in to hurt me. She came to finish me off.'  
'What are you talking about? Did Katniss come to see you?' He nodded and I glared at the people behind me, I couldn't believe that they let her in here. 'What did you do to her Peeta? Is that why you're tied up.'  
'I tried to kill her. I was so close. I could have saved you.' I pulled his face up to mine.  
'I don't need saving, we're safe now I promise you. I'll make you better, I'll get you back.'  
'Jay, it's been long enough. You need to leave now.' Haymitch appeared behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. I nodded and leant up and kissed Peeta on the cheek.  
'I promise.' I said as Haymitch lead me out of the room.

'Are you okay?' Haymitch takes me down the hall away from everyone else. I sink down against the wall and bury my face in my knees trying not to cry. Haymitch sits down next to me and puts his arms around my shoulders.  
'He looks worse.' I whisper lifting my head to look at him as tears roll down my cheeks. 'He couldn't even think of a memory. It's the only thing that used to keep us together in there and know it's like he's back there but this time he's all alone. I'm not there to help him.'  
'You can't blame yourself for what they did to him. You tried so hard to keep him together. I think that if you weren't there that he'd have been lost long ago.'


	15. I'm Back

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

I paced the hallway wearing my new District 13 clothes, grey shirt and grey pants; although they were bland I kinda liked having something new to wear as well as something clean. At least it wasn't white. I fingered the purple writing on my arm telling me where to go and what to do. I hadn't really payed much attention to it and was just wandering the halls. It felt so good to just walk freely without being tripped over or having metal digging into you.

As I rounded the corner I saw a girl with brown hair wandering aimlessly down the halls.  
'Katniss?' She turns around and stares at me as if she's trying to place me but I doubt she will my hair has grown so long it reaches my ass and it's still that harsh shade of black I dyed it so long ago. 'Hi,' it's all I can say, so many things run through my mind.  
'Hi, do I now you?' I shake my head,  
'I just wanted to thank you, you saved my family.'  
'No I didn't, I've just been stuck here, I haven't saved anyone.'  
'Yes you did. I saw my brother smile around you, not that stupid Capitol smile but his regular smile. You brought him back and you saved Rue. By saving them you saved me.'  
'I didn't save Rue,' she looks at her feet as tears seem to well up in her eyes.  
'You did more than I ever could.' I ran forward and gave her a hug, I could feel her body seize up, she didn't like being touched and neither did I but I felt like I had to do something. I let her go and felt someone's hand on my shoulder; I gripped it and spun them round pushing them up against the wall. I heard Katniss scream and tried to pull me off.  
'Jesus, will you stop trying to kill me?' My eyes met Gale's and I let him go.  
'Sorry, just don't do that okay?' He nodded.  
'Where have you been? I'm supposed to be watching you.'  
'Around.' I shrugged and he rolled his eyes at me.  
'Hey Katniss, do you mind if I borrow her for a second she needs to get ready for our meeting later.' A confused look spreads across her face but she nods and he leads me back down the hall.

* * *

The three stylists circle me and begin my transformation back into the person I once was. Coin wants me to be as recognisable as possible, so that means a full beauty treatment. They have little supplies here in 12 but Plutarch managed to grab what they needed in case I ever got out, I didn't trust him seeing as he knew I was there the whole time and didn't even try to save me. My hair was cut to my shoulders and returned to its original blonde and the pink and blue streaks were added once more. My eyebrows were plucked and my body was waxed, though they were careful of my cuts and bruises. When they were done I pulled the grey uniform back on and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked at the girl who had died so long ago, the innocent girl who had been replaced by a killing machine and thought that no matter what they did to make me look like her; I would never truly be her again.

* * *

I stood outside the conference room waiting for them to allow me to go in. I knew they were going to make a big deal out of me being here, like they did in 11 and they expected me to make and entrance. I played with the streaks in my hair as I listened at the door to what Coin was saying,  
'Our mission has been judged as successful, we managed to rescue the previous victors and they have all been returned to us safely. Though there was one thing we didn't account for, something we didn't expect. We found someone else in there, someone we all believed to be dead. The escaped the Games before we even imagined it was possible, I give you Juniper Odair.'

The door swung open behind me and I turned around to face the rooms stunned silence, their moths were hanging open but the only person I cared about was backing away slowly shaking their head, with tears welling up in their eyes,  
'Finnick, I'm back.'

**Cliffhanger, I actually really hate those but I thought it actually worked here. Please Review and favourite it means a lot.**


	16. Are You Real?

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

He stood there staring at me, frozen unable to say anything. He looked at Coin and then back at me confusion spread across his face. After a while he got his voice back and whispered,  
'Are you real?' Tears clouded my eyes as I thought to when I saw Haymitch in back in the Capitol and I thought he was a trick come to hurt me. I nodded and bit my lip. Katniss stood up from her seat beside him and stared at me.  
'Prove it.'  
'What?' I said confused, she walked close to me sizing me up.  
'Prove it.' I sighed and tried to think of something that would prove I was the real me, only one thing came into my mind that no one else could possibly know.  
'Finnick has a teddy bear named Mr. Snuggles that he thinks no one knows about and keeps hidden under his bed but I found him one day when we were training and I went and hid in his room.' Finnick's jaw dropped and Katniss raised her eyebrows and glanced at Finnick to see if I was telling the truth. He ran forward and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug, forcing all the air from my lungs.  
'I thought I lost you.' He whispered in my ear.  
'I'm so sorry; I didn't want to get your hopes up. I thought they would kill me. I didn't want you to lose me twice.' He squeezes me harder and I can feel his tears against my skin, everyone in the room is silent as he clings to me, I think they're still in shock.

When he finally let me go I was addressed by the rest of the people in the room.  
'How do we know she can be trusted?' Said a man with deep blue eyes. 'She's been locked up just liked Peeta, who knows what they did to her. She could be trained to kill anyone of us.'  
'I understand you not trusting her but she has told us her side of the story and Plutarch assures me that she hasn't undergone the same treatment as Peeta.'  
'Still how can you be sure?' Said someone I couldn't see.  
'Let me tell you what they did to me in there. They strapped me down and shocked me within an inch of my life and when that didn't work, they beat me. Then we they realised I didn't care what they did to me they brought in my best friend and made me watch while they beat him to death. I have spent the last year of my life living in hell and you think that I'm working for them? You can't be serious.' I brought my fist down on the wooden table in front of me cracking in straight down the middle. I turned on my heel and stormed out of the room not caring where I went.

* * *

I was almost to the end of the hall when I heard footsteps coming up behind me. I spun around and punched them straight in the face. Gale went sprawling backwards on the floor, blood gushing from his nose.  
'Seriously, whenever I'm around you it's like you're trying to kill me.' I rolled my eyes at him and continued walking. 'So what, you're just going to punch me in the face and then leave me here.'  
'Looks like it.' I called back to him and kept walking. He got up, blood still dripping from his nose.  
'Why the hell are you mad at me?' I spun around to face him and he backed up as I glared at him.  
'BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST LIKE THEM! YOU DON'T TRUST ME! I'M JUST SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T MATTER TO ANYONE, NO ONE CARES WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH! YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT YOURSELVES AND THE RISK A TRAUMATISED GIRL PRESENTS TO YOUR FUCKING MESSED UP WAY OF LIFE! YOU'RE JUST LIKE THEM, YOU FOLLOW THEIR ORDERS AND YOU ALL THINK THAT YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD! THAT AND PRESERVING YOUR LITTLE UNDERGROUND PISS HOLE! THREE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN MY LIFE ARE DEAD AND YOU DON'T EVEN CARE!' I shoved him to the ground and ran off tears pouring down my face. I ran into my room and slammed the door shot sinking to the floor with my back against the wood sobbing my eyes out.

* * *

'Jay, let me in.' I heard Finnick's voice outside the door and I took a deep breath wiping the tears from my cheeks before letting him in.  
'Hi.'  
'Hi.' He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him. 'They're all jerks; I know you're not a threat. I'm just so glad you're safe. You, Annie and I we can be a family again.' I couldn't help myself; I started crying again into his chest knowing that we could never be a family again now that Mags and Toby were gone. He picked me up in his arms and set me down on the bed. I curled up into him sobbing.  
'It's going to be okay, I promise.'  
'They... They... They killed Toby Finnick. I saw them, he was so scared. A...And Mags, Thresh.'  
'Shh, it's okay. We'll get through this. I'm going to make sure we all stay together okay.'  
'Did you see what they did to Peeta? My Peeta.'  
'Since when are you and Peeta friends?'  
'I was with him. In the cell. He's my friend and now he's almost gone too.' He hugged me tighter and we lay there for hours just like we used before all of this happened.

* * *

I woke up to a tapping on the door, Finnick was asleep next to me, I sighed rolling out of bed and swinging the door open. Gale stood leaning against the frame, his nose swollen and bandaged.  
'What do you want?'  
'To say sorry, although I shouldn't have too because I've been nothing but nice to you and you attacked me every chance you've gotten.'  
'Says the man who covered me in a blanket and carried me around like I was a sack of potatoes.'  
'Look I really am sorry, for what they did to you, for what they did to your friends but you can't take it out on me. I don't think you're dangerous unless you want to be, you only hurt people who you think deserve it. Mainly me but let's just ignore that fact for now. You need to show them that you can be trusted instead of assaulting everyone who disagrees with you.'  
'It worked before. Kept me alive.' He sighed,  
'This isn't a war zone anymore, and you're safe. You don't need to be afraid of anyone anymore.'  
'I'm only ever afraid when some is hurting some I care about. I don't give a rat's arse about myself.'  
'You are one of the strangest people I have ever met. I'm going down to work with Beetee, do you wanna come? It'll make it easier to keep an eye on you.' I nod my head,  
'I have to tell Finnick though.'

'Finnick, Finnick wake up.' I whispered lightly shaking him on the shoulder, he moaned and rolled over in bed but he didn't wake up. 'Finnick, Finnick. FINNICK! WAKE UP!' I jumped up and down on the bed next to him. He fell out of the bed and landed with a crash on the floor.  
'What the hell!' He looked up at me pissed but I put on my pouty face and he sighed. 'You know I can't even be mad at you anymore now that I know you're okay. I'm afraid if I do something will happen and it'll be the last thing you hear.'  
'Don't be such a drag Finnick. I just woke you up to tell Gale invited me to go watch him and Beetee work and I didn't want you to freak out if I was gone when you woke up.'  
'Have fun. But not too much fun, I like Gale but if he tries anything funny he'll have to answer to me.' I rolled my eyes at him,  
'As if, if you hadn't noticed me and Gale aren't the best of friends. He only asked me to go because I'm his job.'  
'Still if he tries anything you tell me.' He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, once again forcing the air from my lungs. 'This time you come back.' I nodded and wiped the tears from my eyes.

Gale was waiting for me outside,  
'Ready to go?' I nod and he turns leading me down the hall to a research room in one of the lower corridors.

* * *

'I'm so glad you're okay.' I turn around and see Beetee smiling at me, he's in a wheelchair but otherwise he seemed fine. He was beaming at me and I bent over to give him a hug.

'I'm glad you're okay; they made me watch the games. I was so worried about you guys.'  
'Would you like to see what I'm working on?' I nodded and he wheeled over to a large desk covered in blue prints and began showing me various things, weapons, traps they were all so high tech and interesting looking. I picked up one of the ones closest to me and realised it looked very familiar.  
'Ah yes, recognise it do you? It's your suit from the Hunger Games; I've been trying to figure that one out for a while now. Bullet proofing is easy but it's the weight that I'm having trouble with. The one in the games was as light as a feather; I need to figure out what material they used. You don't still have yours do you?' Beetee asked.  
'No they took it, along with everything else I owned.'  
'I didn't think you would.'

I'm sitting there watching them work for a while when Katniss comes in, her throat looks bruised and I can't help but feel that Peeta was responsible. She looks over the blueprints their working on.  
'What are these?' She asks hoarsely, attracting their attention.  
'Katniss, you've found us out,' says Beetee cheerfully.  
'What? Is this a secret?'  
'Not really. But I've felt a little guilty about it. Stealing Gale away from you so much,' Beetee admits. I raise my eyebrows and look at the pair, Gale is purposefully avoiding eye contact and I realise that maybe there was something going on between the two. Gale saw me staring at shot me a look, I gave him a smirk seeing as he just confirmed my suspicions.  
'I hope you've been putting his time to good use.' Katniss replies,  
'Come and see.' Beetee replies, waving her over to a computer screen to show her what they've been working on, elaborate traps in order to leave a person helpless.  
'That seems to be crossing some kind of line, So anything goes?' Katniss says after looking at the designs, in my opinion they're brilliant but then again I don't care what it takes to destroy the Capitol. Beetee and Gale stare at her, I see a harshness in Gale's eyes that reminds me of myself.  
'I guess there isn't a rule book for what might be unacceptable to do to another human being.' She continues.  
'Sure there is. Beetee and I have been following the same rule book President Snow used when he hijacked Peeta,' says Gale. I flinch and Katniss storms out of the room. I take a deep breath to stop myself from crying, Gale looks at me and realises what he's done. 'I'm sorry Jay, I didn't mean it. It's just I needed to make her see how important this is.' I nod and jump from my seat and walk outside.

'Jay, just the person we need.' Haymitch was standing in the corridor next Katniss. 'We're going to Peeta, try some stuff out and since you're the only person who can be in the same room as him without him trying to kill them you might be helpful.'  
'It's not going to hurt him is it.'  
'No but it might help us get him back.'  
'I'd do anything to get him back.' I followed him and Katniss, she looked like she was going to be sick, she kept playing with the braid in her hair. Haymitch stared straight ahead and tried not to look at us, I knew they were just as upset as I was. When we entered the room a girl ran up to Katniss and began talking really fast about District 13. After she was finished talking to Katniss and ran up to me,  
'Hi, I'm Delly Cartwright from District 12. I saw you in the Hunger Games with Katniss, I'm sorry about your boyfriend he seemed really nice. Do you like it here in 13, I think it's brilliant.' I just stood there staring at her as she rambled on; it actually started to freak me out. I wasn't good with people especially not bubbly people. Haymitch stood next to me and put his hand on my shoulder.  
'We should get started.' Delly smiled and nodded and followed Haymitch and Katniss into the observation room. I walked slowly behind them not wanting to see what would happen.

* * *

He's in the position when I last saw him lying on his bed his arms strapped down; he looked peaceful in a way. When Delly opened the door, his eyes widened in alarm as she walked in and smiled and he immediately began to look confused.  
'Peeta? It's Delly. From home.'  
'Delly?' He looked less confused and props himself up on his elbows. 'Delly. It's you.'  
'Yes!' she says letting out a sigh of relief that he recognised her. 'How do you feel?'  
'Awful. Where are we? What's happened?' Haymitch and Katniss start having a conversation about Peeta but I zone them out and lean my forehead against the glad focusing on him.  
'Well…we're in District Thirteen. We live here now,'  
'That's what those people have been saying. But it makes no sense. Why aren't we home?' He looks sad and confused which immediately makes me feel sad looking at him.  
'There was…an accident. I miss home badly, too. I was only just thinking about those chalk drawings we used to do on the paving stones. Yours were so wonderful. Remember when you made each one a different animal?'  
'Yeah. Pigs and cats and things, you said…about an accident?'  
'It was bad. No one…could stay,' she was cracking and I could see it, she needed to keep him focused, he was getting off track. 'But I know you're going to like it here, Peeta. The people have been really nice to us. There's always food and clean clothes, and school's much more interesting,' she continues trying to draw his attention back.  
'Why hasn't my family come to see me?'  
'They can't.' I can see tears forming in her eyes as her voice gets shaky. 'A lot of people didn't get out of Twelve. So we'll need to make a new life here. I'm sure they could use a good baker. Do you remember when your father used to let us make dough girls and boys?'  
'There was a fire,' Peeta says as his eyes grow wide in realisation.  
'Yes,' she whispers.  
'Twelve burned down, didn't it? Because of her,' says Peeta angrily. 'Because of Katniss!" He starts pulling on his restraints trying to get free.  
'Oh, no, Peeta. It wasn't her fault,' She starting to look really sacred, her face has gone completely pale.  
'Did she tell you that?' he hisses at her angrily, his eyes full of hatred.  
'Get her out of there,' says Plutarch he turns to me and nods. 'You're on.'

I run in and he's screaming at her at the top of his lungs as she backs slowly towards the door.  
'Because she's lying! She's a liar! You can't believe anything she says! She's some kind of mutt the Capitol created to use against the rest of us! Don't trust her, Delly, I did, and she tried to kill me. She killed my friends. My family. Don't even go near her! She's a mutt! A mutt! She's a stinking mutt!' Someone pulls Delly out the door and I drop down beside his bed.

'Look at me. Look at me Peeta.' I held his face in my hands and he stopped pulling on the restraints. 'Look I'm fine, no one hurt me okay. I went out there and no one hurt me. See I'm fine, please calm down.' He stares at me and his eyes soften becoming full of sadness instead of hate.  
'She... She killed them. She's a mutt.' He whispered.  
'No Peeta she isn't. She loves you remember. I know it'll take some time but eventually you'll see. You just have to trust me, you do trust me don't you?'  
'I trust you.' I smile at him and he manages to smile back.  
'Good, then for me please don't fight them. Just trust me and everything will be okay I promise.'


	17. A Chat Between Old Friends

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

I'm sitting on my bed when I hear a knock on the door. Katniss stands in the doorway, her eyes look puffy and red but I pretend not to notice.  
'Hey can I come in?' I stand aside and let her pass me as I swing the door shut behind her. 'How did you do it?'  
'Do what?' I stare at her confused.  
'Calm Peeta down, make him not hate you. He attacks everyone else but not you and I don't get it. He doesn't even know you and yet he'll do anything you say.'  
'They didn't tell you did they? Of course they didn't they're a bunch of assholes. I was with him; they put us in the same cell to further mess up our minds. I sat next to him every day and was forced to make sure he didn't kill himself or everyone else around him. He listens to me because he's forced to; I'm the only person he's had to talk to that didn't try to kill him for months. That creates a certain bond, but don't worry I'm not in love with him.'  
'I was with him for years and you just show up here and...'  
'And what? You know you're just like them. You don't trust me either. I've done nothing wrong.'  
'All I'm saying is that you just happen to be the only person who can calm him down and until a week ago none of us even knew you existed. I'm just trying to protect my friends, especially Finnick.'  
'Oh you wanna protect him now, didn't seem like you were doing much protecting last year when you were hunting his ass down in the Games. Or do you always try to kill your friends?' My face is inches away from hers and she glares me down with a death stare that would have probably turned me to jelly if I wasn't so pissed at her.

After a while of staring me down she shoves me in the chest with her fingers making me backup a few steps.  
'If you try anything funny when I'm in 2, if I hear you did anything to any of them. I will hunt you down and skin you alive.'  
'Oh you're leaving too bad you didn't tell me earlier or I would have thrown you a party. And don't worry about your friends I'll take real good care of them, unlike you. How many of your so called friends did you manage to get killed or imprisoned?' She pulls back her fist and aims for my face but the door swings open and Gale walks in staring at the two of us.

'Katniss your hovercraft is here. Is something wrong?'  
'No everything's just perfect. Remember what I said.' She gives me one last glare before spinning on her heel and storming out of the room past Gale.  
'Okay what was that about?'  
'Oh you know just a little chat between old friends. Did you need something else?'  
'No.'  
'Great, then you'll just be leaving. Bye.' I grabbed him by the shoulders, spun him round and pushed him out of the room.

**Kinda short but I needed to put it in there. Umm... t kinda makes Katniss out as a bitch but that's not what I'm aiming for, in the books she'd do anything to protect her friends and isn't that trusting of people so that's why I had it like this. It was going to be a friendly conversation but I don't really think they'd be friends so I wrote it like this instead. Review and favourite please.**


	18. Fresh Air

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

I sat on the edge of Johanna's hospital bed watching the TV propped up on the wall next to us. Finnick sits on the chair next to her bed and Annie is curled up in his lap. We're watching me on the screen, Coin made me put out an announcement to show the Districts that I was alive and more people were defying the Capitol.

_'So what do I need to do?' I tugged at the hem of the short, black dress they had made me wear. The woman named Cressida was setting up the camera equipment in front of me as I sat on a pillar in the forest outside 13. A stylist walked over and fixed my lipstick as Cressida smiled at me.  
'We just need to say you're okay and that you're here and fighting. Then I'm going to ask you a couple of questions. We'll start when the red light on the camera turns on.' I nod and stare at the floor, taking a deep breath. Finnick and Gale stand behind the camera watching me, Finnick pokes his tongue out at me and I laugh as my nerves evaporate. Cressida motions to the camera and counts down with her fingers as the light flickers on._

_'Hello world, remember me. If you don't well then hey that's your loss. I'm Juniper Odair Tribute from the Hunger Games. That's right, tribute not victor. As many of you may recall I died but as a matter of fact that's what they made it look like because imagine what would happen if you all found out that there was an escaped tribute on the loose. Listen closely to my story as I tell you how I made our rulers look like the little idiots they are.' I sat there for an hour as I told my story and she asked me questions, letting the world know what had happened to me.  
'Now Jay, one last question before we let you go. How have you been dealing with the loss of Thresh.' I looked up my eyes wide, I had no idea she was going to ask that question, a tear rolled down my cheek and I turned to face the camera.  
'I haven't, I miss him every second of every day and the thing only that keeps me going is knowing that I'm going to get them. Every last one of them, I going to make their lives miserable, I'm going to find them and destroy them. Everyone responsible for his death is going down and there is no place to hide when I come for you. So watch your back because you're not going to be alive much longer and if you are you're going to wish you weren't when I'm finished with you.' I looked up and glared at Plutarch who was standing behind the camera, his eyes filled with fear as he slowly backed away.  
'Cut, that was brilliant.' They packed up their stuff and ushered me back inside, I tried to stay as long as I could. The fresh air felt good against my skin and it had been so long since I'd been outside I didn't want to go back underground, but Gale grabbed my arm and pulled me down the stairs._

'Nice job kid, you scared the crap out of me.' Said Johanna as she patted me on the back. 'Wait til Boreas sees that, he's going to regret everything he ever did to us.' I smiled and Annie flinched at the sound of your name whilst Finnick looked confused.  
'Who's?'  
'The man in charge of prisoners,' replied Johanna to his confusion. 'He hated Jay above everything else and now he's probably scared to death.' I smiled and Annie curled up tighter into Finnick.  
'He's the one who killed Toby.' Annie whispered, Finnick looked down at her his face full of sadness.  
'Then he deserves to die.' Finnick replied and hugged her tighter.

* * *

I sat on the bed next to Peeta; he was no longer chained down since Katniss had left for 2 he'd calmed down a lot. I had started to have lunch with him seeing as I felt like I didn't fit in with anyone else anymore and sitting in a small, cramped room with Peeta whilst a bunch of scientists watched us actually made me fell normal.  
'So what did you do today?' I looked up at him and smiled.  
'Well they let me go outside today. Me and Gale went for a walk in the woods and he went hunting and caught some food. It was good to go outside. Oh and I was on TV.'  
'TV?'  
'Yeah they made me record a message for all the Districts so that they'd know I was alive. They asked me a bunch of questions and stuff, it was good. How are you today?'  
'She's not a mutt, is she? I'm not sure, she's dangerous I know that but she... I'm confused.' He sighed and I put my arm around his shoulder.'  
'You'll get it eventually. It took me forever to remember how to learn how to use a fork but it's still there. We just need to find it.' They'd started to show him videos of his old memories but they just seemed to freak him out, I wasn't there when they did but it messed him up so much I asked if I could be there next to him when they tried to do it again.

They wheeled in the television after we finished eating and someone came in holding a needle and immediately he began to freak out.  
'Don't be scared okay, I'm right here it's just like last time. I'm right here.' I took the needle from the man and Peeta held out his arm and squeezed his eyes shut. 'It's going to be okay; this will help us get you back.' I said as I plunged the liquid into his arm. He started to go fuzzy almost immediately and they turned on the screen. It was their interview after the games, the two of them intertwined on the couch talking about how much they loved each other. I didn't pay that much attention to it, I spent the whole time watching Peeta. Whenever he started to look scared I'd squeeze his hand or stroke his hair and he'd seem okay. When it was over he didn't say anything, he just stared straight ahead his expression blank.

'Are you okay?' He turned to look at me.  
'I think I remember that.'  
'You do that's good, tell me what you remember about it. You can do it.' He scrunched up his face in thought.  
'It was after the games, we... we weren't allowed to see each other. She hugged me so hard I nearly fell over and then... I don't... I don't know.'  
'It's okay. You're getting better, that's good. It's a good start.' I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and squeezed tightly.

* * *

I left Peeta to rest and spent the rest of the day watching Gale work on his traps.  
'I heard Peeta's getting better.'  
'Yeah, sort of. He's remembering little things but not enough to get him back. I just want him to get better.' I sigh and sink down in my chair.  
'I'm sure that before you know it he'll be as good as new.' I nod but he doesn't look to sure.  
'What about Katniss if he gets better then you won't be able to have her, are you sure you want that?' He turns bright red and pretends to be working on his trap so he doesn't have to look at me.  
'I don't like Katniss.' He finally says, I roll my eyes but drop the subject.

'Do you think they'll ever let me outside again?' He looks up and shrugs.  
'I'm not sure, they still don't trust you. I think they think you'll run away or something.'  
'Where on earth would I run to?' He shrugs again and keeps working. 'They let Katniss go to 2, why can't I go somewhere and fight something. I'm sick of being kept indoors and not being allowed to do anything.'  
'You're helping Peeta, that's something.'  
'Yeah, something that's killing me slowly inside every time I have to see him like that. I don't even want to go for long, just long enough to make a difference, to feel the fresh air again.' He nods and stands up.  
'Come on, let's go ask them then.' He grabs my hand and pulls me down the corridor.  
'What makes you think they'll say yes?'  
'Absolutely nothing, but there's nothing wrong with trying.' He says as he continues to pull me along behind him.

* * *

I sat in front of Coin's desk as she stared at me, Plutarch stood behind her trying to avoid eye contact as I refused to take my eyes off of him. Gale stood behind me, his hands on either side of the chair ready to grab me if I tried anything.  
'We're sorry Miss Odair, we have yet to finish our evaluations. We cannot be sure that you can be trusted. So you will have to remain here in 13 under constant supervision before we let you out in the field.'  
'But that's not fair, you let Katniss leave.' I leapt from my seat and slammed my hands down on the table. Gale grabbed my shoulders and forced me back down into my seat. 'You can't keep me in here. I'm going crazy in here.'  
'I hope you understand we still need you in Peeta's rehabilitation process. Without you he makes no progress at all. You do want him to get better don't you?' asked Plutarch, speaking for the first time.  
'OF COURSE I DO! YOU THINK I DON'T CARE ABOUT HIM! BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT HIM A LOT MORE THAN YOU DO! YOU LET ME ROT IN THAT PRISON AND I'M PRETTY SURE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE MINDED IF HE'D STAYED THERE FOREVER!' I leapt across the table and grabbed the front of his shirt, Gale wrapped his arms around my waist and tried to pull me off of him.  
'MISS ODAIR THIS ISN'T HELPING YOUR CASE!' yelled Coin over my screams, I looked over at her and released Plutarch's shirt. Gale pulled me back over the table but refused to let go of me his strong arms still wrapped around my waist. 'Based on the behaviour you have just shown, you are deemed unfit to leave. We will reconsider your case when you learn to control yourself. Private Hawthorn, you too must learn to control your charges, you will be held accountable for everything she does. You are both dismissed.'

* * *

I stormed down the hallway with Gale trailing behind me.  
'Slow down.' He said jogging up behind me, I spun around swinging my fist but this time he had the sense to duck. 'Can you stop doing that?'  
'Not really. You did nothing to help me in there, all you did was stand there and agree with everything they said.'  
'What was I supposed to do.'  
'SOMETHING! ANYTHING! Not just stand there like an idiot, I thought you were my friend.'  
'Friends don't generally attack each other every chance they get.'  
'Well friends don't give other friends a reason to.'  
'What are you talking about I have been nothing but nice to you.'  
'As if, you just a suck up. You'll do anything those idiots tell you to and you don't care who you hurt.'  
'Unlike you who doesn't listen to anyone and attacks anyone who tries to help you.'  
'Fuck you Gale.' I spun around and stormed down the hallway to my room biting back tears.  
'JAY! COME ON JAY I'd DIDN'T MEAN IT!' He calls behind me but I ignore him and keep going.

**Review and favourite, it means a lot.**


	19. Taken By Surprise

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

I paced the floor of my room, tugging at my hair. I couldn't stay in here much longer it was driving me crazy being caged like a wild animal. I spun around when I heard someone knocking at the door.  
'Hey,' his grey eyes were boring into mine as I let him in my room. 'You okay? I'm sorry about before, I didn't mean it.'  
'It's okay I'm over it, it's just nothing is happening, all they do is talk about fighting but we just sit here and do nothing. There's a war going on and we're all just sitting on our asses. Peeta isn't getting any better and Katniss gets to be out there fighting whilst I'm stuck here. It isn't fair.'  
'We have to figure out what we're doing first, you can't just charge into battle. I want to just as much as the next person but I can't.'  
'How can you stand it just sitting here, being told what to do, Gale? Don't you just want to do something? Anything? I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE I NEED TO KILL SOMETHING, SMASH IT TO PIECES UNTIL THERE'S NOTHING LEFT, UNTIL...'  
He grabbed me by the shoulders and crashed his lips against mine and held me there for what felt like ages, I just stood there unable to move from utter shock. Finally he let me go and stared at the floor muttering,  
'It was the only way I could get you to calm down.' I brought my hand up and slapped him straight across the face.  
'What is your problem you can't just kiss someone like that especially when... especially when...' my mind went blank as I wrapped my arms around his neck and tackled him onto the bed. His lips met mine and his hands ran through my hair. My hands ran down his torso and he pulled me closer to, I my hand inside of his shirt and began to caress his toned abs, my fingers danced across his chest as his shirt pulled up more and more until it was practically up to his neck.  
'What was it you were saying about kissing?' He raised his eyebrows as his lips made their way down my neck.  
'Just shut up, please I need this.' His kisses to my neck deepened as he pressed his lips harder to my skin but yet still softly and continued down to my collar bone. I arched my neck back and closed my eyes as I felt the warmth of his body radiating against.

* * *

Our clothes lay scattered on the floor as I lay with my head resting on his chest as he stroked my hair.  
'You know your brother is probably going to kill me for this.'  
'I won't tell if you don't.'  
'Deal.'  
'Besides we wouldn't want Katniss to find out now would we.' I felt him shift uncomfortably beneath me.  
'I...I don't know what you're talking about!' I raised my eyebrows and he sighed, 'Is it really that obvious?'  
'Yeah. Oh My God!' I sat bolt upright and covered my face in my hands.  
'What, what's wrong.' I looked up at him with tears rolling down my cheeks.  
'Thresh, he's dead. He's dead and I'm here with you. It's like I've forgotten all about him and I... I can't do this.'  
'Hey, hey. Stop crying. Look I get it...'  
'Can you just go, please? I can't. I need you to go.' He nodded and grabbed his clothes form the floor before leaving the room as I curled up in the bed crying.

**Credit to JoshuaEvans123 for helping me when I was stuck with this chapter and giving me some ideas, you're pretty smart for actually figuring out what was going to happen. I think they'd be really cute together so please don't hate me she still loves Thresh. It's not my favourite chapter I kinda don't like how it's written for some reason but I hope you guys do. Review and Favourite :)**


	20. What If I Can't Be?

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

I sat alone in the cafeteria and stared at my food. I didn't feel like eating anything, I felt so bad for what I did to Thresh I didn't think that I could keep anything down. Finnick kept glancing over at me looking worried and I knew he could tell something was wrong. I knew I couldn't tell him so I got up and ran out of the room so I didn't have to see him looking at me any more.

'Jay!' Finnick ran up beside me and I stopped and turned to look at him.  
'Hi Finnick I'm actually really busy right now so if you could be quick I would really appreciate it.'  
'Tell me what's wrong.'  
'Wrong? Nothing's wrong. Why would anything be wrong?' He pointed at my hands which were balled up in fists and I sighed.  
'1...2... don't make me say 3.'  
'I'm just having a rough time okay. Coin hates me, I asked her permission to go outside or to do something, anything and she rejected me for being too hostile and dangerous. I feel as though no one trusts me. Katniss also hates me; you know she tried to attack me before she left because she thought I was going to hurt you.'  
'Hey, hey calm down.' He cupped me face in his hands and brushed the tears that had started falling down my cheeks away. 'They just don't know you like I do. The shy, quiet, nervous, little girl is still in there, she just got tough. You would never hurt anyone unless you had to.'  
'I hurt Gale a lot and half the time he's just trying to help.'  
'I understand.' He picked me up and carried me to my room as I sobbed into his shoulder.

* * *

Annie joined us later and was curled up on the bed with her head in my lap.  
'You just need to show Coin that you can be trusted.'  
'And how am I supposed to do that Finnick when she won't give me the chance.'  
'I heard you tried to kill Plutarch.' Annie raised her head as she said it and looked at me, Finnick tried to stifle a laugh and I gave him the death stare.  
'He's evil; he knew I was in there. It's in his eyes I can see it.'  
'Life was so much easier when you didn't look people in the eye but instead hid behind things like rocks, people and that goat that one time. I think you have the power to see inside people's souls but you never knew until now.'

* * *

'Jay! Jay! Please talk to me! Let me in! JAY!' Gale stood outside knocking, I sighed not wanting to let him in, I'd avoided him all day whenever he tried to talk to me. Finally after an hour I rolled off my bed and swung the door open.  
'Yes?'  
'You've been avoiding me.' I sighed and let him walk past me into the room.  
'Well what am I supposed to do Gale, I don't not what to say, I don't even know what to think any more. He died and then you come along an it's like he never existed.'  
'It doesn't have to be like that.' He placed his arms on my shoulders and looked me straight in the eye. 'We can go back to being friends if you want.' I nodded and he pulled me in for a hug, I pulled away and looked him in the eyes before grabbing the front of his shirt and pressing his lips against mine. He pulled away looking shocked. 'But you said.'  
'I know but what if I can't just be friends with you?'

**Ok so JoshuaEvans123 is like my most common reviewer and has helped me when I was stuck on chapters and he has a new story out called Life Of The Party involving Finnick's son. He's a really good writer so if you could read and review it would be really great. :)**


	21. A Killing Machine

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE LEAVING?!'  
'Please clam down Jay. HEY!' Gale dodged as I chucked a pillow at his face. 'It's not my fault Beetee wants me to go to 2 with him, you're not the only one who wants to get out of here.'  
'You mean you want to go see Katniss; you're long, lost, unrequited love. Why do I have to stay here by myself?' I sighed and plopped down on the bed, he sank down next to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.  
'You have Finnick, Annie and Peeta, you're hardly alone. Besides I'll be doing boring science stuff. And anyways, you said you didn't want to be serious.'  
'Doesn't mean I want you flitting around with girl who hates me and besides you like boring science stuff, it's like your two favourite things combined.' He wrapped his arms around me as I pouted.  
'I'll be back soon. If you try to get along with Coin I'm sure she'll let you come along next time.'  
'Fine leave me, see if I care.' He sighed before kissing me on the forehead and walking to the door.

* * *

'Hey, how are we feeling today?' I sat down on the bed next to Peeta  
'My head hurts.' He dropped his head on my shoulder and made a pouty face. I laughed and stroked his hair.  
'It'll help you get better, it'll stop soon don't worry.'  
'I don't want to do it anymore, it scares me. I never know what's real anymore.'  
'This is what's real, what they're telling you now. I know because I lived it and you did too, you just have to remember.' I continued to stroke his hair when Plutarch ran in, I flew to my feet and pushed Peeta behind me.

'Do you need something?'  
'I need to talk to you, alone.'  
'Does it look like I'm going anywhere with you?' I stepped forward and glared at him.  
'And you wonder why Coin doesn't trust you.' He had me there so I glared at him and walked out of the room, Peeta gave me a reassuring look as I stalked away.

* * *

'What?' I whirled around to face him.  
'Katniss was shot.'  
'Excuse me?'  
'She was shot today in two, they're flying her in right now.'  
'How's Gale.' I blurted out before I could stop myself, he raised his eyebrows at me but continued talking.  
'He's fine, but Coin wants to reassess your situation.'  
'What do you mean?'  
'She was shot because she tried to negotiate with him, she tried to reason with him. When you were out there you didn't hesitate, you killed on sight. We need that right now, in Coin's opinion is that wars are won by force not negotiation with the enemy.'  
'So she wants me now because I'm a killer, a month ago that was a bad thing. You people are hopeless, I won't be your puppet.' I walked off leaving him behind me, he called after me.  
'I thought you wanted revenge for those who died, your parents, Thresh, Toby Mags...' I ran forwards and pushed him down, tears forming in my eyes.  
'You have no right to talk about them, you're one of them. If I had my way your head would be on a spike. Tell Coin I'll do whatever she wants but she has to promise that my family will be safe; if anything happens to them I will kill you. Understand?'

* * *

'So you've agreed to help us.' I stood in front of Coin's desk glaring at her and she looked me up and down.  
'You didn't really give me a choice now did you? You're little star gets one little injury so you decide to send someone into the field that you don't give a damn about losing.'  
'We chose you because you will do anything to succeed, you don't bargain, you're precisely what we need.'  
'A killing machine?' She folded her hands on the table and smiled.  
'Exactly.'

**So things move really fast in this chapter mainly because I didn't really have much for her to do when she's in 13 so it would be really boring so I had to fastforward a little bit till when she's allowed to leave. Please review and favourite.**


	22. A Weapon

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

'You're okay!' I ran across the hospital and dived into Gale's arms, he lifted me off my feet and spun me around.  
'Worried about me I see.' I punch him in the arm and look around, there's no one there except for Katniss and Johanna who both seem to be asleep so I pull Gale closer and press my lips against his.  
'Of course I was worried, I can't lose someone else.' He laughed and leaned down to kiss me back, I pulled away and looked him in the eyes. 'Coin wants me to go out in the field. She wants me to start training tomorrow and then I can finally leave this hovel.'  
'What made her change her mind? I thought she said you were too dangerous.' I looked away from him and he cupped my face in his hands and pulled me closer.  
'Katniss she tried to reason with that man instead of killing him, if... if it were me...'  
'You'd have killed him; she wants to use you as a weapon?' he lowered his voice and I nodded causing him to sigh. He glanced over at Katniss and I glared at him.  
'Are you seriously thinking about her right now?'  
'She was shot and now Coin wants to send you out in the field because of that, I can't lose either of you.'  
'She doesn't love you Gale, you know that right? I'm right here.' He looked away and stared at the floor. 'Something happened didn't it? Gale... Gale answer me.'  
'I kissed her.' I pushed him away and shook my head tears forming in my eyes. He reached for my hand that was now covering my mouth since I was on the verge of vomiting, I slapped it away.  
'Jay please I...'  
'You knew, you knew how hard it was for me to let you in since he... he... and then you... you son of a bitch. YOU SON OF A BITCH!' I punched him square in the face and he went sprawling backwards onto Johanna's bed who woke up screaming and punched him before realising who it was.  
'Oh my god Gale, I'm sorry I didn't...' She didn't get the chance to finish her sentence before I jumped onto of Gale flattening him to floor and punching him repeatedly in the face.

'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!' Haymitch ran into the room and pulled me off of Gale, I was screaming at the top of my lungs and stared scratching at his arms trying to get him to put me down. 'Jay what are you doing?!' Johanna jumped from her bed and helped Gale to his feet.  
'It was my fault Haymitch, not Jay's. I... I deserved it.' Haymitch raised his eyebrows but put me down, I shoved him away and glared at Gale. Johanna walked forward and reached out to me but I pushed her hand away and ran from the room sobbing.

* * *

I lay curled up on my bed my arms wrapped around my legs with tears pouring down my face. It was hours before I heard a knock on the door, I ignored it knowing that it was probably Gale coming to apologize.  
'Jay, are you in there? it's me, Johanna.' I walk over the door wiping the tears from my eyes and open it just a crack.  
'Now's not a good time Johanna, can you come back later?' I whispered trying to keep my voice sounding normal.  
'No, I'm not supposed to leave the hospital but I went out to give Gale and Katniss some alone time.' I let out an involuntary sob and fell away from the door covering my face with my hands; Johanna pushed the door open and stared at my confused until a look of understanding crossed her face. She ran across the room and wrapped her arms around me as I sank to the floor.  
'You love him don't you?' She whispered in my ear.  
'I don't know, I miss Thresh and he was so nice but then he went off and kissed Katniss and he knew how scared I was to let him in and... and...' I started sobbing even harder and she pulled me in closer as I cried into her shoulder.

I try to forget about Gale for the next few days as I dive into my training. Sweat pour

* * *

ed down my face as I ran around the small field that they'd cleared for the soldiers.  
'Faster, you call that running?!' I glared at the trainer and kept going pushing myself even harder. Someone came running up next to me and I turned my head to see Gale panting as he tried to keep up with me.  
'Slow down, we need to talk.'  
'I'm busy Gale; you're not even supposed to be training now. Why don't you go and design some bombs like you're supposed to.'  
'Jay, please can't we talk.'  
'Nope.' I sped up and left him behind, I looked back quickly and saw that he'd stopped and looked absolutely miserable but I couldn't care less.

* * *

I either spend my time practicing or talking to Peeta. I sat on the edge of his bed as he decorates a cupcake.  
'What's it going to look like?'  
'A flower hopefully.' He turns the cupcake towards me and I see the outline of pink petals on the top.  
'Looks good, wish I could eat it.'  
'Why can't you? You're the one I'm making it for.'  
'Diabetic, could kill me.'  
'I can't imagine not being able to eat cake.' I shrugged my shoulders and he laughed. 'I heard they're letting you out,'  
'They have to assess me first which means lots of training and listening to orders and I'm not too good at the second one.'  
'You could just pretend, put up with it as long as you have to then do whatever you want once they trust you.'  
'I highly doubt that they will ever trust me. I'm just their weapon.'

**Another chapter down yay! I was actually sad to break them up but I was just following the storyline of the book and I thought this was how she'd react. Please Review and Favourite it means a lot :)**


	23. I Don't Know

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

'Hey kiddo, how's it going?' I looked up from my food and saw Finnick standing above me. 'Can I sit with you?'  
'Do you even have to ask?' he smiled and slid into the seat next to me.  
'I heard you tried to kill Gale. Do you need me to go and finish the job.'  
'He was just being an ass I'm over it.' He laughed and gave me a squeeze.

'I wanted to ask you something.'  
'You know you can ask me anything.'  
'I want to ask Annie to marry me and since you're our only family I'd like your permission.' I choked on my chicken and Finnick thumped me on the back until I spit my food onto my plate.  
'Oh my god, Finnick.' I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed him tight. 'Of course I give you my blessing; she's basically my sister already.'

* * *

'Hey, Katniss is taking Annie to District 12 to get a dress, do you want to go?' The wedding was in a few days and I was excited for Annie but there was no way in hell I was letting her go anywhere with Katniss.  
'Of course it would be my pleasure.' I smiled and Finnick raised his eyebrows.  
'Don't do anything stupid okay, she's my friend and I know you don't like her.'  
'I won't unless she does something first.' He sighed,  
'They're waiting in the carrier.' I faked a smile and flounced past him down the hallway.

'Hey Annie.' I wrapped my arms around her and glared at Katniss over her shoulder. 'Katniss.'  
'Jay.' She looks at me with as much distaste as I look at her. Plutarch walks up behind her,  
'Are we all ready to go?'  
'Come on Annie.' I slip my hand into hers and lead her onto the hovercraft. She sits next to me for the whole trip with her head on my shoulder. She talks with Katniss and her prep team but I remain silent. I can see Katniss watching her out of the corner of her eyes. I know Annie can act strange at times like when she tries to block out the world by covering her ears with her hands but what Katniss doesn't understand is that she's trying to come back to us, to focus on what's real and what isn't. I hate Katniss even more for looking at her like that.

* * *

The stylists pull clothes out and have Annie try them on; I sit in the corner occasionally voicing my opinion on a dress. If I don't like it Annie refuses to wear it, it makes me smile to know she still values my opinion so much. After a while we decide on a silk, green dress that matches her eyes perfectly.  
'Okay, one down, one to go. Odair it's your turn.' My head snaps up instantly and I see that everyone is staring at me.  
'You're not serious?' I raise my eyebrows and he nods.  
'Everyone in the wedding party must look the part; you're the only bridesmaid so get up and get dressed.'

There is nothing I hate more than people staring at me, especially the way that stylists stare. With that look like everything about you could be so much better and they're disappointed that they have so little. I get dizzy from spinning round and round in fancy dresses for all of them. Katniss looks like she's suppressing a laugh at my pain but it makes Annie smile and I'll do anything to keep her happy. Eventually they decide on a strapless light, pink dress that flows to the floor like a waterfall.  
'Pink isn't really my colour.'  
'I think it suits you.' Katniss smirks as she says it; everyone nods in agreement not knowing she's only doing it to torment me.  
'I think you look beautiful.' Annie smiled at me and I sighed.  
'Only for you Annie.' She laughs and jumps up and down clapping her hands together.

* * *

'It's pink.' I sit on the edge of Peeta's bed as he creates delicate little flowers out of frosting.  
'I'm sorry but I'm having trouble picturing you in anything pink.'  
'You know I told them that but they wouldn't listen.' I sighed and fell backwards onto the pillows as he laughed.  
'Because that's always stopped you before.'  
'Annie likes it, she's the bride so it's her decision.'  
'I wish I could go, I'd love to see that dress.' I pull the pillow out from behind my head and chuck it at his face. He dodges laughing.  
'I am trying to create something here, besides without this cake the wedding can't happen. I mean what's a wedding without cake.'  
'If I ever get married I won't have a cake, what's the point of getting something so big and expensive if you can't even eat it?'  
'Making others happy.'  
'My wedding, they can just deal with it.'

He's silent for a while but then he looks up at me, 'Do you think you'll ever find someone else?' I sigh and look away from him.  
'I thought I had but then... Thresh and... He was in love with someone else.'  
'I know how that feels.' I sat bolt upright and stared at him.  
'Did you...? Did you just remember?' He scrunched up his face and looked like he was concentrating hard.  
'I think, she... she loved him and I... It's gone.' He sighed and looked like he was about to cry.  
'This is great Peeta, sure it wasn't much but it was a major memory. You're getting better.' I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He smiled bigger than I'd ever seen him before.

* * *

I sat in the chair as the stylists pull my head up into a loose bun; Annie sat next to me whilst the other two did her make-up. She was humming to herself and looked happier than I'd ever seen her. When they were finished we stood together outside the door holding hands.  
'You look amazing Annie.'  
'So do you Jay.' She hugged me quickly before the doors opened and we walked out into a room full of people. It was decorated with leaves, children stood near the front singing whilst a man played the fiddle. As we walked down the aisle Finnick was gazing at Annie and beaming and I couldn't have been happier.

The wedding was the same as the one back home, using all of our old traditions and it made me feel as though nothing had ever happened and that we were back where we started. When the ceremony was over music started and everyone began to dance. I skirted around the dance floor and made my way over to Finnick and Annie.  
'I'm so happy for you guys.' Finnick pulled the two of us in for a hug.  
'My two girls together and we're all safe. I think this is definitely the best day of my life.' Annie laughed and he kissed her on the head.  
'Go dance you two.' I shoved the two of them towards the dance floor.  
'Okay but you're next.' I smile as they move towards the centre of the dance floor. As I'm watching them someone comes up behind me.  
'Dance with me.' I spin around and come face to face with Gale.  
'Not tonight Gale, please I can't deal.'  
'Just one dance, please I promise nothing else.' I sigh and not wanting to make a scene I follow him out onto the dance floor. He teaches me the steps and pulls me around the dance floor with him. I can see Finnick looking at us over Annie's shoulder and I try to act as though I don't hate him.

The music slows down and Gale pulls me closer to him wrapping his arms around my waist. I put my on his shoulders and refuse to make eye contact.  
'Why aren't you dancing with Katniss?'  
'You knew I still had feelings for her when this started, just like you still loved Thresh.'  
'It isn't the same thing and you know it.'  
'I thought you didn't want to do this tonight.'  
'Well I'm sorry, I just can't think of anything else to say to you.'  
'Well how's your training going?'  
'Fine, they think I'll be ready soon.'  
'Well that's good isn't it?' I sigh and look him in the eye.  
'Gale I can't just talk to you like nothing happened, you made your decision and it wasn't me. Please just let me get on with my life, I don't want to be your safety net.' He opened his mouth to say something else when Finnick tapped him on the shoulder.  
'Can I borrow my sister for a second; I believe she owes me a dance.' He held out his hand and did a little bow. Despite my anger it made me giggle. Gale let me go and I walked off with Finnick.

'You two looked like you were getting cosy.'  
'We're just friends, not even that. Coin has him watch me so I don't try to kill everyone, he's just doing his job.'  
'Is that so?' I shook my head and looked away. 'You know I always thought you and Toby would be the ones getting married first.'  
'So did I, I never saw myself with anyone else, he was my only friend and the only person I could talk to besides you. I guess you never know what's going to happen.' Our conversation is cut short as Peeta's cake is wheeled into the room. Finnick's face lit up.  
'Surprise, I helped Peeta make it.'  
'It's just like the ones at home.'  
'I wanted your wedding to perfect so when they said they were making a cake I told them how it was done.' He walked over to Annie and they began to cut the cake, I saw Haymitch lead Katniss out of the room from the corner of my eye and he gestured for me to follow.

I walked outside whilst they were in mid conversation. Haymitch looked up and nodded at me.  
'Peeta wants to see Katniss, we need you there if anything goes wrong.'  
'Can't it wait, they just got married.' He shook his head and I sighed, I looked back into the room and saw Gale watching me, not wanting to deal with him again I nodded and Haymitch lead the two of us down the corridor.

* * *

I lean against the wall watching Katniss through the glass, Haymitch talks to her through an earpiece.  
'You're not very big, are you? Or particularly pretty?' I let out a snort of laughter and Haymitch glares at me. I hold my hands up in surrender and he shakes his head turning back to the screen.  
'Well, you've looked better.' Haymitch tells her to back off and I scowl offended that she would even say that after all he'd been through.  
'And not even remotely nice. To say that to me after all I've been through.' He says laughing and I sigh in relief, the fact that he's laughing with her shows how much better he's getting.  
'Yeah. We've all been through a lot. And you're the one who was known for being nice. Not me. Look, I don't feel so well. Maybe I'll drop by tomorrow.' I rise to my feet getting ready to slap her as she retreats to the door but then Peeta says something that makes the two of us freeze.  
'Katniss. I remember about the bread.'  
They showed you the tape of me talking about it,' I shake my head recalling everything he was ever shown.  
'No. Is there a tape of you talking about it? Why didn't the Capitol use it against me?'  
'I made it the day you were rescued, so what do you remember?'

I stand there holding my breath hoping that he'll say the right thing. That he'll finally remember something on his own.  
'You. In the rain,' he says softly. 'Digging in our trash bins. Burning the bread. My mother hitting me. Taking the bread out for the pig but then giving it to you instead.'  
'That's it. That's what happened, the next day, after school I wanted to thank you. But I didn't know how.' A smile spreads across my face, Haymitch's too; everyone else seems shocked since he'd never remembered so much on his own.  
'We were outside at the end of the day. I tried to catch your eye. You looked away. And then…for some reason, I think you picked a dandelion. I must have loved you a lot.'  
'You did.'  
'And did you love me?' he asks, his face looks so full of sadness I just want to hold him in my arms.  
'Everyone says I did. Everyone says that's why Snow had you tortured. To break me.'  
'That's not an answer; I don't know what to think when they show me some of the tapes. In that first arena, it looked like you tried to kill me with those tracker jackers.'  
'I was trying to kill all of you,'  
'Later, there's a lot of kissing. Didn't seem very genuine on your part. Did you like kissing me?'  
'Sometimes, you know people are watching us now?'  
'I know. What about Gale?' I let out an involuntary squeak and clamped my hands over my mouth as everyone in the room turned to look at me; I sunk to the ground and hugged my knees to my chest. All I could think was, please say you don't love him back, please say you don't love him back.

'He's not a bad kisser either,' it took all I had to not run into that room and tackle her to the floor and rip her to shreds. I buried my head in my knees to hide my tears.  
'And it was okay with both of us? You kissing the other?'  
'No. It wasn't okay with either of you. But I wasn't asking your permission,' for the first time I wanted Peeta to have a break down, to knock her to the ground and kill her. It made me feel sick thinking about it but she was just standing there all high and mighty stomping on both of our hearts. But all he did was laugh coldly.  
'Well, you're a piece of work, aren't you?' She storms out of the room past us and I rise slowly to my feet trying to compose myself before I enter.

'Well that was dramatic.' A smile crosses his face and he raises one eyebrow.  
'I was wrong, pink is your colour.' I look down and realise I'm still dressed for the wedding.  
'I think I look like a marshmallow.'  
'A very pretty marshmallow.'  
'Are you okay.'  
'She's kind of a bitch isn't she.'  
'I'm really not the best person to be asking if you want someone to deny it.'  
'Are you okay; your eyes are red and puffy?' He walked forward and lifted my face so that it lined up with his. 'Have you been crying?' I pulled my face away and he moved closer so that his face was inches away from mine. 'What happened?'  
'Remember before when you said you know how I felt?' He nods and raises his eyebrows. 'You know in more ways than one, and to hear her just brush it off like that...' He pulled me really close and tilted his head down next to mine and whispered in my ear,  
'It's him isn't it, he chose her.' I nod and purse my lips trying to hold back the tears. 'Do you love him?'  
'I thought maybe I did, but now. I don't know.'

**Wow this a long chapter, but you guys deserve it since it's been forever since I've updated. Sorry about that but I just finished my exams YAY so I haven't had much time to write. Umm... So this is just showing some more events from Jay's POV and more Gale/Jay relationship stuff. Please Review and Favourite it means a lot :)**


	24. You Think Or You Know?

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

_We sit and watch the rain as it falls filling our lake to the point of over flowing.  
'I love the rain.'  
'Not me in my district when it rained it meant we lost a day of work and it caused the peacekeepers to become grouchy. Sometimes we were even forced to work in it especially if it was harvest season.'  
'But the rain is beautiful, are you telling me you've never gone out and just danced in the rain and felt it run free and completely take over your body?'  
'No because that sounds crazy.'  
'Crazy my ass. Come on.' I stand and strip down to my underwear and he looks at me like I was insane.  
'What are you doing?'  
'I told you, I'm going to have some fun.'_

_I ran out into the pouring rain his eyes watching me the whole time. I began to dance and spun round and round as the rain soaked through my bones. It felt just like home swimming the ocean, standing under a waterfall and letting the water take me.  
'You know, you shouldn't get your bandage wet.'  
I gave him the finger and kept dancing feeling better than I had since I was reaped.  
'Come inside before you catch a cold and die.'  
I rolled my eyes and walked back into the cave dripping, Thresh stood waiting holding out a blanket for me. He wrapped it around my shoulders as my teeth chattered.  
'See you're going to get sick.'  
I rolled my eyes at him again and he wrapped the blanket more tightly around me. Our eyes locked and out of nowhere he covered my mouth with his in a hungry kiss. My eyes widen in surprise, his mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer than I could have ever imagined. He sent warmth through my frozen body and I didn't want it to stop. Suddenly, Thresh pushed away as if he'd been burned, he stumbled backwards.  
'I... I... I... have to go.'  
He sprinted out into the rain and I stood stuck in the same spot stuck in that moment. I couldn't help but wonder if Thresh's heart was beating as fast as mine, or if he was feeling anything even close to the burning fire of desire that had taken me over._

_2 hours. That's how long I waited for him to come back. 2 hours he was out in the rain probably feeling exactly the same as I did now. 2 hours spent sitting in a damp cave all alone except for my thoughts. 2 hours to think about the kiss. 2 hours to drive myself crazy with questions. 2 hours._

_I spent the time sitting in the cave entrance thinking, the questions running through my mind.  
What if he kissed me because he thought it was a good angle like the 2 from 12?  
What if he liked the publicity they were getting and used me to help him win?  
What if he was just playing me to get me to do whatever he said, make me fall for him so that he could manipulate me into letting him win?  
What if he was just grief stricken over losing Rue and he was just looking for an outlet and this outlet was me?  
What if he only kissed me because I was the only person around?  
What if it was because he just needed it before he died?  
And the biggest question of all if he did like me did I like him back?_

_He came back dripping wet and shivering his lips tinged blue. I ran towards him and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders as he had down before with me. He refused to look me in the eyes and he mumbled incoherently into his hands.  
'Thresh? What are you saying?'  
'I... I... I'm sorry... I didn't mean it... you were just standing there... looking the way you do... perfect I mean... and it just happened... I didn't mean to... I understand if you don't want to be in an alliance with me... I...'  
I didn't let him finish his rambling; I grabbed the front of his soaking wet shirt and pulled him down to my height our faces inches away from each other.  
'I read in a book once that "A kiss may ruin a human life." it's a good thing that that didn't happen this time isn't it.'  
His eyes grew wide as my lips crashed against his, he was a hesitant at first but when he wrapped his arms around my neck I knew that he wanted it just as much as I did. I pulled him closer as he nipped at my lower lip before running his tongue along the seam of my lips in an attempt to gain access into the depths of my mouth. I opened my mouth allowing his tongue to swoop in and tangle with mine in a battle of the wills. He pulled me up into his arms and I wrapped my legs around his waist running my fingers through his damp hair. He pulled me down onto the floor of the cave and was running his hands down the length of my body._

* * *

I sat bolt upright in bed, sweat poured down my face and tears stained my cheeks. I had thought the dreams had stopped but he was still burned in my mind and I couldn't get him out. He comes to me in the middle of the night and when I wake up I feel guilty. I got out of bed and wandered into the bathroom, I turned on the shower and sank down in the tub fully clothed letting the water over take my body like it did that day.

* * *

As I exit the bathroom I hear a knock on the door. I open it a crack and see Gale standing there looking down at me.  
'You're not my safety net.'  
'Excuse me?'  
'Last night you said you didn't want to be my safety net. You're not because; well because I think I'm falling in love with you.' My jaw dropped and I just stood there staring at him. 'Please say something.'  
'You think or you know?' He tilted his head to the side looking confused.  
'Wha...'  
'You said you think, which means you still have feelings for her and you can't be absolutely sure of your feelings for me until you're sure she doesn't feel the same way about you. So I'll ask you again, you think or you know?'  
'I don't...'  
'That's what I thought, goodbye Gale.' I swung the door shut in his face and curled up on my bed.

* * *

I walk into the cafeteria and stop dead, sitting across from Johanna at a table is Peeta. He looks up and smiles at me and motions for me to join them.  
'Umm... Hi? What are you?'  
'They think more social interaction with people besides you is a good idea.' I looked down at his hands and saw they were chained and raised my eyebrows. 'Even though I need to interact I'm still not "safe".'  
'And your idea of positive social interaction is Johanna?' He laughed and Johanna pulled me down into the seat on the next to her and punched me in the arm.  
'There were more people but Peeta scared them all away.' He looked down and the table and furrowed his eyebrows.  
'Peeta, don't worry you'll get better over time. You got Johanna to stay.'  
'Because that's such a great feat.' I let out a laugh and Johanna kicked him under the table causing him to cringe.  
'So how's the boyfriend situation going?' I glare at Johanna but Peeta raises his eyebrows and nods,  
'I think we'd all like to know that.'  
'Oh so you told crazy pants over here too.' Peeta nodded again smiling and I tried to drown myself in my stew.

'He isn't my boyfriend, he made that perfectly clear on multiple occasions.'  
'You just need to give him a chance.'  
'I gave him plenty of chances Johanna and he still chose her every time.'  
'Well I think that they're both horrible people.'  
'Thankyou Peeta, I totally agree. Now if you'll excuse me I don't feel like eating anything anymore. Just thinking about him makes me sick.' I got up and walked out of the room trying to erase all memories of Gale from my mind.

* * *

Two weeks later Coin finally announced it was time for me to take the test in order to assess if I was ready for battle. The obstacle course and the written were easy I could do it in my sleep but this one could pretty much destroy any chance I have of going into the field. Everyone else was sitting the test as well, Johanna, Peeta, Finnick and Katniss. They wanted to make sure that what we went through wasn't going to get everyone killed. Sitting in the little room reminded me of when I was waiting to be assessed before the games and it freaked the hell out of me. I hear someone mutter that we'd be tested on our weaknesses and I knew I had plenty; my hatred for practically everyone who lived for example could definitely get someone killed since I probably wouldn't try to save them if anything bad happened.

It seemed like forever before my name is called I rise slowly and walk into the Block, I'm instantly thrown into an ambush situation. There are Peacekeepers everywhere, a voice echoes through the arena telling me to rendezvous with my team at a checkpoint no matter what. Taking out the Peacekeepers near me is easy and I make my way to the checkpoint, I'm almost there when I hear a shriek, a high pitched scream that sounds familiar. I whip around and see Annie being dragged away by Peacekeepers out of the nearest building, blinded by rage I drop my gun and am about to run to her when the voice starts speaking again.  
'There's no time, you have to make it to the checkpoint.' Her screams echo around the maze and my heart's pounding in my chest. 'Leave her.'  
'I'm so sorry.' I whisper under my breath and run full speed towards the checkpoint.

I exit the block sobbing and sink to my knees on the ground. I can't breathe and I feel as though the walls are closing in on me. I think I'm about to explode when Annie comes running in from the other room and wraps her arms around me.  
'I'm okay, I'm sorry I made you cry. They said it was the only way they'd let you go on your mission.'  
'Thank god you're safe.' I grabbed her and squeeze her so tightly she gasps for air.  
'Well done solider, you're cleared for duty. Mrs Odair you need to leave her now so she can report to command.' Annie nods and kisses me on the cheek before leaving, he stamps my hand and I walk down the hall as if in a dream.

* * *

I enter the room and see Finnick smiling at me.  
'Hey little sis, looks like we're on the same team.' He wraps his arm around my shoulder and look past him and see Gale staring at me I look away and curse to myself. Being on the same squad as him would probably drive me insane.  
'So you're with me then are you.' Boggs looks down at me and smiles; I have nothing against him so I smile back. Maybe things won't be that bad, well at least that's what I think before Katniss bursts into the room. This is going to be my worst nightmare.

**Kind of a fluffy chapter but finally Jay gets to do something that involves killing. Sorry it took so long but I was uninspired for a long time but finally got some inspiration this week and wrote this. Please Review and Favourite it means a lot.**


	25. The Beginning Of The End

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

Plutarch stands over a wide, flat panel in the centre of the table. He begins to explain what we'll encounter once we reach the Capitol. He hits a button on the panel in front of him and a holographic image that pops up in front of us. I try not to look at Katniss or Gale but I can feel his eyes staring at me from across the room. I try to pay attention to what Plutarch was staring to say.  
'This, for example, is the area surrounding one of the Peacekeepers' barracks. Not unimportant, but not the most crucial of targets, and yet look. Each light is called a pod. It represents a different obstacle, the nature of which could be anything from a bomb to a band of mutts. Make no mistake, whatever it contains is designed to either trap or kill you. Some have been in place since the Dark Days, others developed over the years. To be honest, I created a fair number myself. This program, which one of our people absconded with when we left the Capitol, is our most recent information. They don't know we have it. But even so, it's likely that new pods have been activated in the last few months. This is what you will face.'

The hologram blinks different colours as he explains. It takes me a while to realise but I slowly begin to see it, the explosions, the tentacles, fire raining down on me and Thresh. I grip Finnick's hand tightly and look up at him and see all the colour has drained from his face. Katniss walks forward and we follow her staring at the blinking lights on the screen. They both reach up to touch the glowing orbs but I stand frozen trying to hold back the vomit.  
'Ladies and gentlemen… Let the Seventy-sixth Hunger Games begin!'

Katniss laughs but I can't breathe, I stumble backwards into someone's arms and look up to see Gale staring down at me. I get to my feet and push him away.  
'I don't even know why you bothered to put Finnick, Jay and me through training, Plutarch,'  
'Yeah, we're already the three best-equipped soldiers you have,' Finnick adds cockily.  
'Do not think that fact escapes me,' he said with an impatient wave. 'Now back in line, Soldiers Odair and Everdeen. I have a presentation to finish.' We walk back to our places but I never let go of Finnick's hand as I hold back the vomit that's rising in my throat.

* * *

When the meeting's over Plutarch tells me and Katniss that we need to look as feminine as possible so we'll skip the haircuts. I let Finnick go and retreat to my room. As soon as the door is shut behind me I fall to the ground in tears. I barely survived the last Hunger Games; there was no way that I could go back in. A knock on the door breaks me out of my misery.  
'Gale if that's you, I swear to God...' I swing the door open and come face to face with Haymitch. 'Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I quickly wipe the tears from my face and try to look less pathetic. 'Um, did you need something?'  
'Johanna's in the hospital.'  
'WHAT!' I charged past him into the hallway and started walking towards the hospital as Haymitch jogged to catch up with me. 'What happened to her.'  
'They flooded the arena in her test.' I whirled around to face him.  
'THEY WHAT?! I THOUGHT WHAT THEY DID TO ME WAS BAD!' I ran full speed down the hallway to the hospital.

* * *

'Johanna are you ok?' I plopped down in the chair beside her bed and slipped my fingers between hers.  
'I just couldn't do it, I'm so sorry.'  
'It's not your fault, they're evil. They pretended to kill Annie; I was so close to being here with you. I'll kill enough Capitol bastards for the both of us.'  
'I love you, you know that right?' I nod wrap my arms around her neck squeezing her tightly.  
'I love you more.'  
'And I love you both.' We look up and see Finnick standing looking at us. He sits down on the edge of the bed and takes Johanna's other hand. 'Did you hear that me and Jay are on the same squad.'  
'No she didn't tell me.' She reached over and wacked me on the arm, acting like her normal self.  
'Well it gets better; it's designed just like the games.' I whispered and all the colour drained from her face.  
'I'm glad I'm not going then, I couldn't stand it.'

'Oh there's more, Gale and Katniss are coming too.'  
'You're kidding, I'm so sorry Jay.' She wrapped her arms around my neck as I bit back the tears.  
'Okay am I missing something?' Finnick stared at us confused.  
'Oh nothing.' She replied as I glared at her. We stayed for a little while longer but Katniss came in and I decided it was my time to leave.

* * *

As I walked back to my room I heard footsteps behind me.  
'Jay wait up.' I turned around and looked at Gale as he ran up to me.  
'You know just because we're in the same squad it doesn't mean we're friends, or that I even like you a little bit. And it certainly doesn't mean I forgive you. I will tolerate you because I have to and that's all.'  
'Please I need you to forgive me.' I sighed and looked at the ground not wanting to look into those eyes.  
'And I needed for you to stand by but you couldn't do that could you. I'll see you in training.' As I walked away I looked back and saw a tear run down his face.

**Merry Christmas everyone, this chapter is my present to you. Was a bit low on inspiration but then I just felt compelled to write something and just happened to finish it on Christmas Eve. Review and Favourite, it means a lot :)**


	26. I Don't Know Who That Is Anymore

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!**

We spend every second of the day training; I like it because it gives me an excuse to avoid talking to people. When you pretend to be hacking apart a dummy no one seems to want to stop and chat which is fine by me. The best time is the hour reserved for specialty weapons, Beetee gave me mine just after I went to visit Johanna. It was a long, wooden staff with ends that opened to reveal hidden blades, he said he was going to make me a knife but when Plutarch showed him the training video of me before the games he knew that this was the perfect weapon for me. I loved the way it spun round in my hand and the fact that it looked perfectly harmless meaning no one would ever suspect it.

The peacekeeper dummies are lined up in a row everyday for training, on this first day Finnick laughed at my staff saying that a plank of wood could never kill anything, I ran straight past him and skewered the dummy straight through the middle piercing it's armour.  
'Remember big brother, with enough force anything can become a weapon.' I said as the red paint dripped from the dummy and onto the floor. Everyone else seemed to train a lot harder after that, soon there was nothing but red paint every where and the more we trained it became easier to hit the weakest points and bring forth the flows of fake blood.

I try not to talk to the others in the group, mainly from fear that I'm going to get hurt again. Back in 4 I never talked to anyone and my life was perfect and here it seems the more I connect with people the more I seem to end up paying for it so I keep my distance. I still make a point to learn their names just in case, there's Jackson, Boggs' second-in-command, she has a good eye when it comes to hitting targets, then there's the sisters named Leeg, they look so similar that I gave up trying to tell them apart long ago, then like me Mitchell and Homes, never say much but they have amazing aim. I respect them for everything they can do but there's no point in getting close if they could die in battle in a few days, this is another reason why I distance myself since I've seen more than my fair share of casualties.

* * *

Plutarch struts into the room and I glare at him but he's learnt that he should never look at me so he avoids my gaze and stays focused on Katniss. 'Squad Four-Five-One, you have been selected for a special mission, we have numerous sharpshooters, but rather a dearth of camera crews. Therefore, we've handpicked the eight of you to be what we call our "Star Squad." You will be the on-screen faces of the invasion.' FUCK NO, I start to run forward but Finnick grabs my arm and holds me back, he shoots me a look but I just glare back and am about to charge when Gale speaks up.  
'What you're saying is, we won't be in actual combat,'  
'You will be in combat, but perhaps not always on the front line. If one can even isolate a front line in this type of war,' says Plutarch.  
'None of us wants that. We're going to fight.' Finnick snaps next to me his fingers still wrapped tightly around my arm. Everyone in the room seems to agree with him.  
'You're going to be as useful to the war effort as possible, and it's been decided that you are of most value on television. Just look at the effect Katniss had running around in that Mockingjay suit. Turned the whole rebellion around. Do you notice how she's the only one not complaining? It's because she understands the power of that screen.'  
'But it's not all pretend, is it? That'd be a waste of talent.' Katniss speaks up and for once she makes a good point.  
'Don't worry, you'll have plenty of real targets to hit. But don't get blown up. I've got enough on my plate without having to replace you. Now get to the Capitol and put on a good show.'

That's it for me I wrench my arm from Finnick's grasp and charge headfirst shoving my skull into his stomach sending him flying backwards, as he tries to stand I kick him straight across the face and he falls again. I'm about to go again when Finnick and Gale grab my arms and pull me away from him.  
'ARE YOU KIDDING ME, ALL I WENT THROUGH AND YOU WANT ME TO BE YOUR FUCKING POSTER CHILD! I HAVE KILLED MORE PEOPLE THAN YOUR ENTIRE ARMY COMBINED AND YOU JUST WANT ME TO SIT ON THE SIDELINES AND SMILE AND LOOK PRETTY FOR YOUR CAMERAS! THAT IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN, I'M GOING TO KILL THOSE CAPITOL BASTARDS AND I'M GOING TO START WITH YO…!' Gale clamps his hand down over my mouth as I struggle against him and Finnick, I bite hard down and he yelps letting me go as I draw blood. Finnick grabs my other arm and attempts to hold me back himself. I hear his voice in my ear trying to calm me down.  
'They'll never let you go anywhere if they think you'll turn on your own side.' I stop struggling and turn to face him,  
'But I don't know who that is any more Finnick.'

**I am literally so sorry for making you wait so long for the next chapter, believe me I know what that's like but life's been hectic and I know that's no excuse and I'm sorry but here's another chapter for your enjoyment. Please review and favourite it means a lot. And since I'm a bit stuck for inspiration I'm going to ask you guys what you'd like to happen in the end and why, maybe it'll help the next chapter come out faster.**


	27. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

Hey I'm sorry I haven't been updating lately but I've had exams and Uni has just started and my life is really hectic at the moment so I have decided to put this story on temporary hiatus. I will continue when I have more time to write it the way I want to so I don't give you some really rushed shit. Thankyou for sticking with the story and hopefully I will have a new chapter for you soon. :)


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